Chapter 95 - Clearing the Air

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"Wait...Dei," RJ managed to say as Dei smushed her lips onto his. He pulled away to break free from her kisses but planted a small kiss on her nose to soften the blow. He grabbed both of her hands that were wrapped around his neck and held them in front of him. "Wait. Let's talk first. I need to know what's going on."

Dei sighed and sat on the bed, unsure of how to begin.

"Do we have a problem?" he asked her, and he sat cross legged in front of her.

Dei shook her head. "Not us, just me."

RJ exhaled sharply as worry started creeping inside his chest. "What's wrong, babe?"

"I guess I'm acting this way because I'm starting to get scared," she muttered, looking at her hands.

"Scared of what?" RJ asked.

"Of what's going to happen after the wedding, of how my life would change so drastically," she said. "I'm used to being independent, and being able to do what I want to do. Somehow I feel that once I become your wife you would start wanting to change things about me."

RJ heaved a huge sigh and held her hands. "Dei, I am never gonna want to change anything about you. I fell in love with everything that you are, exactly like that. I know you're independent and I like that about you, although I must admit there are times when I wish you'd ask for my help and let me be your knight in shining armor," he told her gently. "About the restrictions... I'm actually only asking for one thing. Just be mindful of what you do, of what you wear especially when I'm not around. You don't seem to realize this Dei, but you are attractive as hell. Everywhere we go I see guys glancing at you, and although it makes me proud because you're mine, those glances also make me uncomfortable. When that picture of yours landed on that website, can you imagine how crazy it drove me? I could already imagine hundreds of guys fantasizing about you and it really ticked me off."

Dei nodded. "I understand that now, and I'm sorry, although as I've said it was beyond my control. But I guess maybe next time I should wear something less... revealing."

"Yes, and not only because you're getting married. It's just that we are both public figures now so there's a huge chance that whatever we do will be paraded on social media, and could be manipulated into something that would fit anyone's desire. You are right, it is beyond our control, so we have to be careful." RJ reached over and brushed some hair away from her face and tucked them behind her ear. He sighed again. "About your fears on the upcoming wedding, I just have a question, and I want you to answer me with all honesty," he said seriously.

Dei looked at him. "What is it?"

"When... when I proposed to you and you accepted it, did you really feel that you wanted to marry me, or were you somehow just pressured to accept it because of my speech?" he asked, looking at her intently.

"Yes. I mean no. No, I wasn't pressured, and yes I really wanted to marry you," she replied.

"What about getting married in 6 months, did you really want that too or did you just do it for me?"

"I was honestly excited when I started planning the wedding. But after we've finalized everything I started feeling so nervous and felt like I am not ready for that kind of change yet," she whispered.

RJ nodded. "I understand," he said. "Do you want to cancel the wedding until you're ready?"

Dei paused and thought about it. Did she actually want that? What exactly did she really want? Her mind was blank.

Finally she shook her head. "I'm confused, RJ, but somehow I am certain that that is not what I want. I still want to be married to you in October."

RJ smiled. "Wedding jitters. I didn't know it could be this stressful. What can I do to make the fear go away babe?"

"I'm really not sure. You've already done so much, RJ. I'm the problem so it's really up to me to fix it," Dei said.

"Can I trust you to fix it before the wedding? I'm not gonna have a runaway bride, am I?" he asked and although he was smiling, his tone was serious.

Dei laughed a little. "No you won't," she replied. "I will never hurt you like that."

"Good," RJ said, and there was a glint in his eyes as his lips formed a dark smile. "Now I believe you were on to something earlier?"

Dei bit her lip and smiled as she reached over to grab his neck again, but RJ held her hands once more, stopping her.

"Oh, hell no, Dei," he said, shaking his head and holding her wrists firmly as she looked at him questioningly. "I was seriously mad at you. And you keep telling me that I am controlling you," he said, standing up and walking towards his drawer.

Dei looked at him nervously as he rummaged through his things.

A couple of seconds later, he turned to face her and he was holding two cloths in his hands. One was a huge black handkerchief and the other one was a scarf. She remembered him wearing that when they went to New York City from his parents' house during their vacation. "You want to see control, Dei? Let me show you just how much of a control freak RJ can be..."

She gulped.

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