robsten love story

26. No Control

"no! it really make sense! Im pregnant rob. And anytime soon my body will grew bigger. Not that much pretty right? of course.. you'll find someone whose sexier and younger than me wont you?" "Kris.. you're talking bullshit. Of course i wouldn't do that. I love you.." "no.. you're not!" with my cracked voice i run upstairs to our bedroom and slam the door behind me.

I crawled my self on to the bed, curling up and hugging to my pillow tightly. Tears started running down my cheek, my sob broke filling up the room. And then i hear someone knocking on the door and I knew its him..

"Kris... -- Love.. can i come in??" he asked from outside the door.

"no!" i yell at him.

There's no other sounds except from my breath and sob in the room. My mind still thinking randomly. My good and bad side like fighting inside my head.

What am i doing?? why im being so mean to him? He's just doing his work and you know exactly how it works kristen.

But he shouldn't be like that! he should've hugging me, eating with me, hold me in his arms.

He's always doing it kris. Remember?? he loves you.

I dont believe it.

You should believe it, he loves you and the babies more than him self, you knew it.

I dont know, and i dont care!

And without i realized i think i just fell in my sleep with my still random mind going on in my head.

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I woke up and open my eyes slowly to found the darknest in our room. Only the lights from our bedside table shone around. As soon as i want to move my body, i feel something in my belly. I move down my gaze to it then i found his hand resting on my belly.

And when i sober a little more, i realize that he's sleeping by my side. Hugging me tightly so the back of mine met his chest. I tried to get loose off of him but when i move he snuggle to me even closer. His mouth between my shoulder and my neck and i can feel his breath.

"don't go anywhere love.." he whispered.

He's not a sleep, i should know it. I took a deep breath, and thinking about what should i do.

"you know kris.. i love you so much. so..so.. much, and with my babies, our babies inside you, it make me love you even more" he spoke again with his husky voice. I close my eyes, tried to listen every single word that came out from his mouth.

"never.. ever said something like that again. Or even thinking about me leaving you for someone else. Never love..  never" he blurted again as he drop a kiss over my shoulder. His word really send shiver down to my spine.

"no matter how you look a like, how old are you, how messed and crazy you are. I dont care, i dont fucking care kris. Because you will always be you for me. You're my kristen that i love, and it'll never change" his word sounds very deep and sincere.

I realized that he's right. Maybe its just me, its just me who over reacting. I knew he loves me and i love him. There's nothing i should worry about. I turn my self facing him and raise my hand to remove a hair strands from his face. His eyes keep closing, but he's breathing paintingly, like he nervous or scared about something.

"Im sorry..." i blurted with cracked voice and he slowly open his eyes.

"Im sorry because i have no control for my self. And im sorry because i think something worse about you. Im sorry rob.. I just scared that you dont love me anymore, because.. because I love you so damn much" i said as lean my self closer to his face to capture his lips with mine.

I pull my self parted our lips to catch a breath. I still looked into his eyes and his looking at me. "I love you more than you know stewart" he dropped a peck on my lips once again.

"and i believe its just a pregnancy thing going on with you love. You barely can control your emotion. I understand that.." he smile to me. "what do you mean?" i asked him confusedly. "I mean that, you're pregnant and there must be hormonal 'thing' going on in you kris" he said again.

"Do you remember what your doctor told us? hormonal change? that i've should be ready for moment like this?" he smile. "and damn!! tom was right, women can be very sensitif" he keep giggled.

"what?? tom? what does he said?" i asked coriously. "a lot actually. i asked him so many thing. what to do, what dont. He has experienced before" he explained. "so you guys have a manly talk?" he chuckled before speak "yeah sort of.. i bombing him with a lot of questions and it is not stopping yet. I wanna be good for you kris.. I'll do anything" he finished.

"you're.. good enough rob. I'm so lucky to have you" i blurted.

"No... im the one who lucky to have you kris.. and the babies right here" he rub my belly lightly before kiss me one more time and pull me closer to him. and I couldn't asked for something better this.