Mockingjay: What If......

Chapter 15 - Gale

I try to help Katniss up from the floor, but she almost immediately collapses into my arms. I'm really worried about her, something must be going on.

"Are you sure nothing else happened to you, Catnip? You just seem so...."

I was going to say weak, but that didn't sound very encouraging.

She stares intently at the ground. "I'm fine, Gale, really. Perfectly fine."

But she obviously isn't. She's hiding something, and I'm going to find out what it is. Why doesn't she trust me? I understand if it's something they did to her. Coin's torture is cruel. But something makes me think it's more than that.

Just then I remember something. "Catnip, you haven't eaten in a week! It's no wonder you seem so weak. I 'll go get some food!"

She smiles and nods. "That must be what's wrong. I'm sure I'll be fine after I eat something." But she isn't being completely truthful. I can't stop thinking about why she feels the need to lie to me. I've been through as much as she has, other than the games. 

I grab some fruit and bread from the kitchen, then head back to Katniss. I wish I could give her more, but our food supply is running low. I don't get much of a chance to hunt with everything that's going on. We have a solid plan, and I'm sure it will work. What can go wrong with Beetee and I as the leaders?

We were going to start our first raid tomorrow, but we postponed it because of Katniss. In this condition, she'll need a few days to get rested up. And I want to spend as much time with her as possible. It was torture in itself, living without her for all this time. I still find it hard to believe that she chose me.....

I walk into the room and see that Katniss is crying once again. "Hey, what's up? Something wrong?" 

She shakes her head. "I just feel guilty. If I hadn't been so impulsive, they might still be alive."

I don't have to ask who she means by they. I know she'll only get more upset if she talks about Prim and the others. "It isn't your fault, Catnip. None of this is. We're going to make Coin pay. And nothing is going to stand in our way."

I lean down to kiss her, but she pulls away. Seriously? I get that she's upset, but I've been waiting so long for this! I think that deep inside she always loved me, but she didn't want to break Peeta's heart. What happened between her and Peeta anyway? Now that's a story I want to hear.

I decide I might as well ask her. "Catnip, what happened with Peeta? I mean, obviously you told him to back off, but how did he react? Is he mad at you?" 

She won't meet my eyes. "I don't want to talk about it, okay? I may not love Peeta, but he was my friend. I just..." 

"Was? What happened, Katniss?"

She shakes her head. "I just can't talk about it right now. Maybe another time. But not today."

Why won't she tell me? "I know you're hiding something, Katniss! I just don't understand why you keep lying to me. You can tell me anything, you know that."

There are tears streaming down her face. She looks away. "I'm sorry. I just....." Her voice cracks. "I can't."

I'm trying to hold my temper, but she's being rather infuriating. "So you don't trust me? Is that it? I can't be trusted? What could be so embarrassing or secret that you can't tell me about it? "I'm your best friend, Katniss. I love you with all my heart. Nothing could ever change that!"

I see how upset she is, and I can tell that this is important to her. I wait a while before speaking again, trying to cool down. "I'm sorry, Catnip. I was being inconsiderate. Whatever happened with Peeta is your business, not mine. I shouldn't have pushed you, I should respect your privacy."

She sighs. "I know you meant well. I promise I'll tell you one day. It could be tomorrow, or it could be fifty years from now. But the thing is, none of that matters. The only thing that matters right now is us, and our love. It's all we'll ever need."

I'm soooooo sorry guys! I haven't updated in like a month, which i feel terrible about. I promise with all my heart that i will update again sometime in the next two weeks. Thank you all so much for reading this and for voting. 

~Katrina