Mockingjay: What If......

Chapter 5-Peeta

That just happened. I had just gotten over her calling me lover boy, and now this! Of course, I knew that she still had feelings for Gale. I just thought it was one of those crushes that would blow over. It makes me sick that less than a year ago, I was making out with this girl who just told me how much she hates me.
There's no question that I'm still madly in love with her. I mean, how could I not be? I know I should feel sorry for Katniss, and for Gale's family, but I don't. All I feel is an extreme hatred for the boy who my girlfriend loves. She's my girlfriend, right? It's not like she can date Gale now that he's dead, and she'll see that she needs me eventually.
Was it possible that many of these thoughts had crossed through Gale's mind during last year's games?
"There's no question that I'm still madly in love with Katniss. I mean, how could I not be? I know I should feel sorry for Peeta and the other tributes who have to die, but I don't. All I feel is an extreme hatred for the boy who my girlfriend loves. She's my girlfriend, right? It's not like she can date Peeta since he's going to die in the games anyway, and she'll see that she needs me eventually."
I thought about what it must have been like for Gale, watching the games on a screen in the square. Me and Katniss must have been kissing hours at a time. I mean, it seemed like we kissed every five minutes. He must have felt so betrayed, so jealous. Then he became Katniss' "cousin." I can't imagine how that felt.
I guess I was feeling some of those emotions now. I didn't know what to do. Do I wait for her to come to me? Or do I go to her when she seems to have cooled down? Then I processed Katniss' words. Coin's torture chambers? I didn't know they existed. Even if they did, why would Gale be in them?
Was it possible he had been arrested on false charges? Had he known a secret that could not be told? Something so important, Coin would Kill him to keep him from telling? I had to get to the bottom of this, and soon.
Did Katniss know this secret? Maybe she could tell me. The question was, would she? I decided to wait until tomorrow to ask her. Asking her now would likely result in more screaming and me getting sent back to solitary confinement. The venom antidote was working well, but no one really trusted me yet.
As I wandered back to my room, I thought about all the events of the last few months. One thing was for sure, I would never go anywhere near a bee of any kind for the rest of my life.
At breakfast the next morning, I sat down next to Katniss. She didn't even look at me. She simply muttered, "what do you want, Peeta?"
I sighed. "I want to know the truth. What really happened to Gale, Katniss? Don't say that you don't know. I know that you know. What secret could be so precious to Coin that she would kill him to keep his mouth shut?" I watched her expression change as she processed what I said. She looked very, very angry.
"That's none of you business, you son of a bitch! If you ever ask me that question again, I will make sure you die a much more gruesome and painful death than Gale did!"
Some guards had heard the commotion, and they were heading this way. They were glaring at me, and I got the feeling that if I stuck around I might be spending the night in a cell. I headed for the door and exited the mess hall just as the guards reached our table.
I was practically crying by the time I reached my room. Had the love of my life really just called me that? We had been in fights before, but never like this. I had pushed her over the edge. I'd be lucky if she ever spoke to me again, so any hopes of her still being my girlfriend went down the drain.
I was laying on my couch sulking when my friend and mentor, Haymitch Abernathy, walked into the room. "I heard there was an incident between two lovebirds in the mess hall," he said. "What's the deal?"
"The deal," I said, "is that we are no longer lovebirds. Gale Hawthorne was killed by Coin in torture last week. Katniss realized that she loved him, much more than she ever loved me. I suspected Coin had Gale killed because he knew a secret that had to be kept. When I confronted Katniss about it, she blew a fuse. She called me some things I'd rather not repeat."
He sighed. "I know what she said, Peeta. It's the talk of the town, or district, or whatever. Ouch. It certainly looks like the star-crossed lovers are history. To tell you the truth, she called me the same thing when she woke up on that hovercraft after the quell and you weren't there.
But Peeta, if she will talk to you, apologize. Say what happened to Gale is none of your business, and you should never have invaded her privacy. Then act like this whole thing hasn't affected you at all and you are completely over her."
"So, basically, do exactly what she wants me to do? You know that after I apologize the first thing she says will be "goodbye, Peeta. Never talk to me again." I can't have that, Haymich! No matter what Katniss Everdeen says or does, she will always be the love of my life. Nothing could change that."
Haymitch stroked his beard thoughtfully. "What if we could make her realize she needs you? Go to parties, make friends, date someone else! She'll be jealous and come to you begging forgiveness."
"I could never date another girl, it wouldn't be right. Everyone thinks Katniss was pregnant. It would look pretty bad for me to be going out with someone else."
"That's true," said Haymitch, "But making her jealous is still ideal. The question is, how? If dating is not an option, how do we make Katniss jealous?"
"There is another option," I say. "We could make Katniss feel guilty for what she called me. That would probably work better anyway. What if I did something really heroic? She would feel obligated to apologize to me then. But what could I do?"
"I think, " said Haymitch, "That this all comes back to Coin's secret. If you are going to win back Katniss' trust, and possibly her love, you need to start by figuring out what the secret is. I'm guessing it involves a plan which has yet to be carried out. What you need to do is prevent Coin from carrying out this plan."
"So what you're saying is that I need to spy on Coin and find out what her plan is. Can you get me clearance for the tenth floor?" Haymitch was a low ranking official, but he should be able to get me temps.
"I'll try, but it would look suspicious. It will also be harder if I use your real name, considering you rep here." He was right. No one around here trusted me, so I would have to use an alias.
I smiled. "Now we're really talking like spies. Next we'll need disguises, cameras, and listening devices." I was joking, but I knew this was serious business. I tried not to think about what Coin would do to me if she caught me sneaking around outside her office.
Then I thought of something else. "What about Beetee? I'm sure he would help us."
"That's a good idea," said Haymitch, "but Beetee's on assignment in district 2. He shouldn't be back for at least another week. I'm sure Coin is monitoring all communications, so we have no way to contact him. Unless..."
"Unless?"
"There may be a way to smuggle a note to Beetee, but it wouldn't be easy. We would have to confide in other people, people who may or may not be loyal to Coin. Also, it's possible that Beetee does not yet know of Gale's passing. We would have to include that in the note."
I nodded. "This is the only way to get to the bottom of this. I can write the note. You figure out how to get the note where it needs to go."
"Agreed," he said. Then he turned around and walked out of the room.