Caught unawares.

Unrequited?

"You ok?" Connie asked Grace as she sat slumped on her bed, "please talk to me you can't keep drinking, it's not good for you or the baby. You know that, talk to me maybe it will help" she pleaded.
"I just wish things were different that's all" Grace whimpered.
"I know sweetheart but please stop shutting me out" Connie said softly stroking her hair.
"I'm trying but it just makes me angry what you have that should have been me" she whispered almost inaudibly.
"I'm so sorry I've hurt you, but this isn't it you have time. Your young, georgeous talented someone out there is going to be your perfect match. I know we want it all now and we're impatient but I've waited 20 years to meet somebody I love and trust again. I didn't mean to hurt you but selfishly I couldn't let it go either.

You know when your dad left me and I was pregnant with you I was so lost so alone, and I've never really trusted anyone since. I've been alone for so long and I just wanted a little bit of something for me" she said honestly.
"I know mum... It's just"
"Hard" Connie offered.
"I love him mum" Grace whispered almost ashamed to admit it.
"You..." She couldn't bring herself to say it.
"Yeah" Grace spoke awqaurdily looking at the bed covers.
"I see" Connie said stroking her back.
"I'll try harder" Grace offered a little pathetically.

"She's been drinking again" Connie said exhausted as she flopped onto his bed in his dorms. Sorry we had to meet here, I just couldn't deal with another .. Well you know. I feel guilty spending time with you when she's around" she confessed.
"It's ok I get it" he smiled stroking her hair as he pulled her into him.
"You know she said she loves you" Connie spoke absent mindidly.
"Oh" Jacob shuffled uncomfortably, "I haven't encouraged that".
"I know, I thought she'd feel differently by now, you weren't together long, and knowing we're together. I Think she's just holding onto that happily ever after she's wanted That everyone always wants" she sighed.

"Come here beautiful" he pulled her into him further stroking her face as his eyes bore into hers.
"Do you want to go out for dinner?" He suggested, "get some normality?".
"I prefer the idea of us staying in"she winked.
"Oh yeah, but I've got no food" he shrugged "I haven't really been here".
"Bet you've got a pot noddle" she chuckled.
"I'm a student but I'm not that cliche" he laughed.
She raised her eyebrow playfully, "okay what flavor do you want?" Watching her expression relax and crease into a smile.
They enjoyed a stress free evening together for once, even if it did have to be in a room in a university dorm. She had to admit it felt a little weird she often forgot he was 23, he never acted it. But sometimes she couldn't help but wonder what it would have been like, easier maybe ? If they'd met in different circumstances.

Jacob lay in her bed she'd had to go into work for an hour, but as Grace had gone to bed early she'd convinced him to stay and wait. He looked at the clock 1am she'd  been gone nearly 4 hours and he had to admit he felt uncomfortable it being just him and Grace in the house.
He got up to make some hot chocolate as he pulled his phone out and text her.
"Missing you Sweetcheeks , when are you back? Xx"
He was suprised when he got a reply almost instantly.
"Sorry, leaving now. Keep the bed warm for me X" she smiled as she'd sent it. The wonderful thought he'd be home when she got in, too often she was still sleeping alone.

"Hey" Grace smiled timidly as she entered the kitchen.
"Hey, you okay?" He asked watching as she rubbed her growing stomach.
"This one won't let me sleep, she keeps kicking" she smiled.
"She?"'he asked a smile upon his lips.
"Well I don't know that, but I have a feeling. She's been using my bladder as a punch bag for an hour, I heard you get up I thought you were mum".
"She's on her way back went into work" he finished stirring his spoon in his mug. His eyes transfixed on her bump he had little to no contact with Grace or the baby for months. She never let him  come to appointments or discussed anything baby related.
"You can feel If you like" she paused watching his hesitation. "Its okay".
He moved forward his hand touching her rounded stomach as he felt the kick and another and another.
"Wow that's amazing" he smiled reluctantly moving his hand not to push his luck.
"Hmm not when your living it with 24/7" she grimaced as it kicked again.

"Hot chocolate?" He offered.
"Yes please".
They sat in silence for a while neither knowing what to say, "so I bought a few bits for baby yesterday want to see?" He asked as she nodded he retrieved the bag.
He moved his jacket the scan falling out as he slid it onto the counter, "so you've kept this" she said her eyes moving to the scan image.
"Yeah sorry I hope... It's just .." He babbled scared he'd upset her when he was finally making headway.
"It's fine it's sweet" she couldn't help the surge of guilt flood through her. He really would make such an amazing dad, she had never intended to let it go this far. Well she'd thought about it but she had hoped they be together. When it was obvious they wouldn't be she'd decided she couldn't do it not really, it was such a big lie. But before she she'd had the chance to come clean she'd found out about him and her mum, and then she'd been angry. She hadn't wanted them to think it was ok, she hadnt wanted to be forgotten. And now she was so far in she didn't know how to tell either of them they hate her even more. She'd loose her mum, her support and Jacob he seemed so pleased to be a dad. Overhearing her mum and him last night had made her feel so bad, but she couldn't tell them, not now.

Grace sat and spoke to him for a while, they'd got on so well it had been nice. She placed her mug in the sink and brushed past him.
"Oh sorry" he said clumsily moving past her.
"Its fine, night Jacob" she moved forward instinctively and tried to claim his lips.
He moved back, "Grace I'm sorry, this can't we can't".
"Sorry sorry" she moved backwards, "I thought you wanted it too. It felt right didn't it, I thought we were getting on and .." she trailed off.

"Grace I'm sorry I think your a lovely girl and your going to be a fab mum, but we, I don't....I love your mum, I'm married to your mum. If things had been different maybe it might have worked out, I know this isn't what you want to hear. But I love your mum so much it physically hurts, I'd never do anything to loose her. I want us to get past this so we can be a family but me and you, we can never be more than friends than parents" he said sadly but seriously.

"It's ok, sorry" she finished retreating back upstairs.
He sat down nursing his cold hot chocolate, "you handled that better than I would have" she smiled sadly.
"How long have you been there, didn't hear you come in" he shiffted on his seat.
"A while, I feel so bad for Grace but it's nice to know Im not alone in how I feel about you" she smiled wrapping her hands around his waist. "You handled that really well, well done, and for the record I love you too".
"How long you been up?" She asked snuggling into him.
"Since you left" he admitted, she sighed "sorry".
"It's ok me and Grace we were getting on I felt the baby kick it was nice to talk, but then she..well as you saw it didn't end as well" he sighed.
"You were honest and to the point, she knows where she stands" she smiled wearily.
"She hates me" he sighed.
"No she doesn't, she's letting you in slowly I think it would be easier if she hated you" she sighed.

His fingers trailed over the image of the scan, "how's this going to work when the baby comes?" The fear and uncertainty in his voice clear.
"We'll make it work" she smiled.
"Now how about we put this safely away and go to bed" her eyes scanned over the image of her grandchild as she tucked it in his coat.
"Come on" she whispered turning the light off and leading the way.