Who Are You (Camren)

Chapter 17: My Night With Lauren Jauregui

I kissed her cheek and stood in between her legs because she was still sitting on the counter.  I rubbed my hands up and down the top of her thighs in a comforting way.  I tilt her face upwards so her gaze meets mine, "Lolo, what happened baby?"  I wiped her tears and she shook her head.  "Come on, this is what I'm here for.  Talk to me."

She took a deep breath and more tears rolled down her face.  I stroked her cheek and looked deeply into her glistening green eyes.  Her breath was staggered and her hands shook.  Lauren pinched her eyes shut and large, salty tears poured from the corners.  Her nose wrinkled and her lips slightly puckered.  "My poor baby.." I thought to myself.

"Shhh," I tried to soothe Lauren, "Don't cry, babe."  Lauren's eyes shot open and she stared at me, giving me a weird look.  "What?" I frowned and cocked my head to the side.

"You..." Lauren stuttered out, the first time I had heard her speak that night, "you called me babe."  Her piercing green eyes seemed to stare into my soul.

"Was that a bad thing?"  I stepped back and looked at the floor.

"No," she grabbed my hand and pulled me towards her again, wrapping her arms around me.  She nestled her head onto my shoulder and I felt her start to cry again.  "It's perfect." she whispered.

I smiled to myself and buried myself back into her.  I held her while she cried.  Once she calms down I help her off the counter.  "Piggy back ride?" I asked her.

A small smile crept across her face.  She nodded her head violently and jumped onto my back.  Lauren slapped my butt, "Lets go!"  I skipped to the other room with her giggling on my back.

Once we get to her bed, I gently lay her down.  I fluff the pillows behind her and move her hair from her face.  I move the blankets so they cover her again.  Tucking her in, I kiss her forehead.

"Cuddle with me?" she smiles up at me.

I nod and get into bed on the other side of her.  I open my arms and she cuddles into my chest.  I run my fingers up and down her arm.  Kissing the top of her head, I smile.  "I love you Lauren."

"I love you too Camila," she murmured, "I'm guessing you still want to talk about the scene that had just happened?"  I nodded and she sighed.  "Well during the meet and greet, when I went down the hall dragging that fan with me?  It's because I saw her cuts.  We talked and we both cried.  I went on and on and on about how she's beautiful and how I think, no, how I know she is worth so much more than this and deserves happiness." She shuddered, taking a deep breath.

"But that's great Lo, it's good you can be there for your fans." I said to her.

She pushed me away from her and stared at me with tear filled eyes.  "No!  It's not great!" she began to yell, pushing and hitting me with every word.  "It's not great! I'm a hypocrite!  I'm a fucking hypocrite!  I can't stay strong myself!  I'm a horrible person!  I don't deserve any of this.  My fans deserve better!"

I fell onto the floor, being pushed of the edge of the bed.  I get to my feet and Lauren stood in front of me.  "Lauren-" I started to say.

"No!  I can't do this anymore!  I can't be strong!  I can't tell everyone else to be happy when I'm not.  I feel like the biggest hypocrite ever."  she started sobbing again. "On top of feeling like a horrible person, I had a bad dream... and you know how bad my dreams can get.  It was so vivid, almost real.  God, I fucking hate this.  Why do I have to be such a horrible person?!" I see her green eyes fill with rage, she shoves me one more time.

I tumble back hitting the wall and falling to the floor.  Her eyes widened, realizing what she had done.  I see her knees wobble.  I scrambled to my feet, catching her from falling for the second time that night.  I held her tightly, keeping her from hitting the carpeted ground.  She cried harder and harder the longer we stood there.  I rocked her back and forth.  "Please don't cry.  Please don't cry.  Shh, Lolo, It's okay.  You're beautiful and wonderful.  You're an amazing person.  I know you are.  That's why I fell in love with you." I quietly spoke to her.  I felt her start to calm down when I uttered those three little words.  "I love you, I love you, I love you." I kept reminding her, she slowly steadied her breath.  "I'm in love with you.  You are one of the most inspiring and strong person I have ever met in my entire life.  Please believe me."

She stopped crying and eventually pulled away from my grasp.  We got back into bed, cuddling close, our foreheads pressed against each other.  "I love you so much.  Thank you." Lauren whispered looking me in the eyes.  "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Lolo.  Don't thank me, it's what I'm here for.  I love you more than you could ever imagine." I whispered back to her.

She leaned in and gently brushed her lips against mine.  She pulled me in by my waist and our bodies melted together.  I caressed her cheek with my hand and her grip tightened.  She tugged on my bottom lip, I groaned.  Lauren deepened the kiss and pulled us together as close as we possibly could be.  I kissed her back, putting all my feelings into each movement.

Lauren rolled on top of me, straddling my waist.  She leaned down and we went back to kissing.  She supported herself with her forearms that were on either side of my head.  She seemed to kiss me with everything she has.  Releasing all of her pain, fear, happiness, sadness, and all other emotions through the kiss.  She tugged on my lip again and I seemed to fall into a trance.  My hands that had been firmly planted on her waist, started to roam her body.  I ran my fingers through her hair, brushed my fingers over her slightly protruding collar bones, and landed at her chest.  My hands stopped and seemed to massage her.  She winced and pulled away from me, staring my in the eye.  She bit her lip and smiled.  I grabbed her face and started kissing her again.  A little rougher than before, but I was always gentle with Lauren.  I moved my hands again, stopping at her ass.  I squeezed and she kissed deeper.  She dropped onto me, no longer supporting herself.  I grabbed her waist and moved on top of her.  She wrapped her legs around my pelvis.  Running her fingers through my hair, her tongue explored every inch of my mouth.  I responded to all of her movements and she begins to grind her hips into mine.  I attempt to muffle a moan but it slips.  When the sound of my arousal fills Lauren's ears she smiles into the kiss.  Her hands run up and down my stomach.  I bite her lip getting her to let our a moan.

A moment later I hear a whimper and feel hot tears on my face.  I pull away and roll off of Lauren, sitting up to look at her.  She covered her face and began to cry.  "Lauren?" I panicked.  "Did I hurt you? Did I do something?  I'm sorry!  What's wrong?"

She uncovered her face and looked at me.  Tears stained her face and her green eyes were deep with a fearful expression on her face.  She shook her head.  "It's not you," she choked out.  "You're amazing.  And I DO want to be with you.  I'm just not..." she broke eye contact.

"Ready?" I finished for her.  She nodded, still not looking at me.  I lifted her face so she would look at me once more.  "Don't worry, Lo.  It's okay.  I understand.  All you gotta do is tell me.  I never ever want you to be uncomfortable."  She smiled at me and I kissed her forehead.  "Why were you crying though?"

"I closed my eyes and just fell into your movements, then I flashed back to everything that happened and couldn't remember if it was you or him." Tears rolled down her face again.

"Shhh, Don't cry baby.  I'm not going to let anyone hurt you and I will never hurt you, I promise."  I kissed her lips gently.  "Wanna cuddle?" I smiled at her.  She nodded and I pulled her into me.

"Laur, I love kissing you and all, but we need to find a time to be together that isn't when you're emotionally drained.  We always end up doing this after you have a break down.  That's not the time for this." I reminded her.  She nodded and cuddled closer to me.

We laid there with our foreheads against one another, looking each other in the eye.  Her eyes were filled with so many emotions but the one at was most prominent was love and passion.  After what seemed like forever I finally broke the silence.  "I love you Lauren Michelle."

She smiled at me, "I love you too Karla Camila."

My nose wrinkled at my unfavored name but I loved hearing the way she said it.  She snuggled into my chest and I draped my arm over her hips.  "Goodnight, Camzi." Lauren whispered.

"Goodnight Lolo." I responded.  Eventually I heard her breath even and a slight snore hummed through her nose.  I'm so glad she finally let me in, let me protect her, instead of just her protecting me.  She didn't always have to be the strong one.  I care to much for her to hurt this bad.  I kissed the top of her head and fell asleep with Lauren close to me, exactly how life was meant to be.

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Happy Thanksgiving readers! (:  I've been stuck in the car for a while and I still will be so, you may get another update soon!  If not today, definitely tomorrow.  I'll probably have some time on my hands(:
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