On a dazzling afternoon, as the sun set below the horizon, Milk's human returned home. As she closed the door, however, Milk noticed she was not alone.
Another human was walking along in her wake, thunking against the hard stone floor with her bejeweled five-inch high heels.
"Milk?" Milk's human called. "I have a surprise for you!"
Milk peeked around the kitchen's island counter, a bit annoyed. He was finishing up his delicious meal of sloppy goodness, and did not like to be disturbed.
A piercing shriek that sent Milk into the air.
"OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH, YES, YES, OH MY GOODNESS!" Screamed a high pitched voice as a pair of cold, bony hands clamped themselves around Milk's body.
"Wait, Kristy he doesn't really like to be picked up!" Warned Milk's human. But Kristy didn't listen. She held Milk up to her face and he saw it, and for a moment he stared, horrified.
A plastic face. There are no wrinkles, yet there should be. Kristy's eyes are an unnaturally vibrant scarlet, and her nose looks as if it had about seven nose jobs. Her brown hair looks very unnatural in places, leading Milk to believe she wears a wig. And worst of all, her mouth. There are almost no lips, other than a fading outline of pink skin. It looks stiff like ice, and when Kristy spoke, it looked as though she wasn't even speaking. She'd make a good ventriloquist, thought Milk.
These were obviously the effects of numerous plastic surgeries. Milk hoped his human wasn't considering it. He liked her just the way she was.
After recovering from the shock, Milk learned that this deformed looking woman wasn't bad at all. She placed him back down on the floor and spoke in a very high voice to Milk's human: "Your cat is just the cutest little thing!"
Milk blushed.
After a few minutes of enthusiastic conversation about cats, Kristy gasped, and exclaimed that she forgot something. She ran back to her fuzzy black bag she had dropped on the floor earlier, and dug around in one of the bigger pockets. She shuffled around through her purse until she found what she was looking for.
Kristy practically skipped back to where Milk's human stood and held out a small silver pan. Milk's human gasped happily, and asked Kristy what it was.
"It's for Milk, silly willy! Just a little treat for him for dessert!"
At this Milk walked back a few paces. He had trusted Kristy's treats twice, first with the bagged treats, then with another fatal concoction of deadly delectables. Fool Milk once, shame on you. Fool him twice, shame on Milk. Fool Milk three times, well, Milk didn't even want to go there.
Kristy basically lunged towards Milk, which he thought was pretty godly in those heels, and held out the pan, taking off the top to reveal the contents within.
A small pool of dark sludge bubbled within the pan. Milk recoiled at the smell.
"It's just a little som'n som'n I threw together. It's nothin' special!"
But - although it was a bit difficult to tell from her stiff face - Milk could see she was practically beaming with delight at the thought of Milk eating her treat.
He decided to plough through it. It couldn't be that bad, right?
But it seemed that Milk was terribly, terribly wrong. He puked the moment he swallowed the goop.
Milk's owner cleaned up the mess, and Kristy sincerely apologized, vowing to never cook again. But all in all, Milk guessed that the night wasn't all bad.
Kristy was a nice woman.
END
YOU ARE READING
Milk
AdventureIt is a time of cattish warfare. Milk is a cat, like any other. He scratches on his owner's couch, he eats cat food, and he jumps around a lot. And he has many fun moments in his life in his safe, nice apartment. But when his owner meets someone spe...
