Only Fools Fall For You

Birthday

(Jaebum)
I leaned against the headrest of my bed as regret and guilt danced through my brain. It'd been three years and i still wasn't over him. In my closet shoved to the furthest corner on the right side, burried under a pile of clothes is a box with our memories. A layer of dust probably rests on the photos like it does on my heart. Hesitantly i approach the closet like any second some one could jump out. I fling open the doors and throw the clothes to the other side and pull the box free. Gingerly i pull the tape off and open the box. My breath hitches as my eyes land on the first phote.

It had been my birthday. Youngjae had a huge surprise planned and everything. It had fallen on a weekend so nothing to feel guilty about that day. I remember waking up to a cute text
Happy birthday bummie, now come meet me at the café i have a surprise.
I remember running around the apartment trying to pick the best outfit in the end id settled on, a comfy nevy sweater and some jeans. When i walked through the doors of the café, youngjae came out carrying a cute cupcake and a small box. He had the sweetest smile plastered on his lips. "Tada. This isnt all of the surprise but it's a start. First open the box." Curiosity took over as i hurriedly ripped through the neatly folded rapping paper. Inside the box was a necklace, bright blue beads glistened in the artificial light. "Do you like it bummie?" I'd put it on before saying "i love it, thank you" he'd jumped up and down, giggles pouring out of his lips before flinging himself forward and engulfing me in a hug. His lips brushed against my ear as he whispered "now we should go." I quickly agreed allowing myself to be drug around town. First we'd grabbed breakfast at youngjaes favorite restaurant then we headed straight to the park where we enjoyed a peaceful walk. Then we headed for the movie theater to catch some random movie. Neither of us had payed any attention to the movie instead we had a heated makeout session in the back seats while oblivious people watched the movie. After that we grabbed coffee. The feeling of youngjaes hand in mine as we walked toward whatever he had planned next was breathtaking. Our final stop was his house. He had me sit on the bar stool while he cooked dinner and we talked. He talked about his plans for college and how we could move to America and get married. How one day he might like to adopt. How he didn't understand why i was afraid to tell my best friends, that he'd told his and they were supportive. Then he changed the subject to how while we were walking around town he saw the cutest puppy in the pet shop and how he wanted a dog so much. He then made the mistake of telling me his fear of heights and how he once had them stop a roller coaster cause he thought he would be sick. Then food was done and he ushered me toward the dinner table. As soon as it was set in front of me a pleasant smell entered my nose as i smiled. "Well what do you think?" He'd asked nervously. "Smells and looks great, jae." After it'd cooled down id taken my first bite. Millions of flavors had burst into my mouth as i continued to chew "its amazing! Thank you so much for everything. It was perfect." A light pink had dusted his cheeks as hed smiled shyly "glad you enjoyed it." And then my perfect day had ended. He'd kissed me goodbye and id walked home.
Sighing i closed the box and placed it infront of my bed. The next school day had been hell for him. I remember it so vividly. I was a true monster, worst than Satan himself. Id taken his trust and flung it over the ledge liked id threatened id do to him. When i saw him at school it was like all my reasoning just vanished and i slipped into autopilot while my fear took control. I was weak and foolish, i deserved to be beaten black and blue. Instead the other kids had laughed and cheered while i tortured him. A few had gone against me while others just watched frowning. Only three ever did anything, mark, yugyeom, and bam. His three best friends. Mark, beat the shit out of my multiple times. Yugyeom, acted as a shield and walked him to his classes when he could. Bam, had told me off to many times to count each time getting more and more violent. I felt the familiar tightening in my chest as tears poured down my cheeks. There are a million ways to die, but only love can kill and keep you alive to feel it.