Only Fools Fall For You

Falling apart

(Jb)
I fucked up worse than ever before. I could tell something was wrong by the way youngjae avoided my touch and ignored my existence. He looked so broken, dark circles under his usually bright eyes, his skin a ghostly pale, a frown permanently etched onto his face. Slowly we made our way towards an abandoned building, the same building we'd had our first kiss in. Youngjae entered the building with no hesitation, yet I stood staring at the busted door. I could tell something was wrong, I should've known this would happen after all the shit I'd put him through. I followed him in with much hesitation. Once inside I could see the familiar caving in floor. My eyes immediately landed on youngjae, sitting in the corner , eyes closed tears streaming down his face. I hurried over to him but before I could say or do anything he said "don't, don't say anything because if you do I'll end up forgiving you before I can say what needs to be said." So I sat and waited for him to speak again. It seemed like hours had passed before he finally spoke.
"Of all the lies you told me "I love you" was my favorite. I was a fool to have believed you, you didn't love me. When love is real it doesn't lie, cheat, pretend, hurt you or make you feel unwanted. It's supposed to be the cure to all your worries not the cause. Was this all some kind of game to you? Was it a bet? See if you can make the naive boy fall in love with you? Did you have fun? Did you like hurting me? Did you enjoy the feeling of beating me? Each day it got worse jaebum, each day the bruises turned to cuts to even a few broken bones. And yet I still forgave you, I believed you'd over come your fear of rejection and realize I was here for you. I wouldn't have rejected you, but instead you made my life hell. I told you my deepest darkest secrets, my biggest fears and you made them a reality, out of love? Bullshit. I dont want another empty promise, I'm sick of your lies. All I ever wanted was your time, your love, and you know what I got? I got fucking hurt, I got humiliated and rejected by you. The person I was giving my everything to. Did you know that one of the hardest things for me to do in life, is to let go of what I thought was real? I guess you wouldn't know that, you've never taken the time to get to know me. I was just a pretty naive boy who worked at your favorite coffee shop. What was it that made me your next target? Was it the smile I wore while I worked? The need to make every order perfect? Was it the extra attention I payed you? Wait let me guess, was it the time I memorized your order. The truth is messy, jaebum. Its raw and uncomfortable. You can't blame yourself for preferring lies." He whispered before turning and darting out the door. I sat frozen with shoke as silent tears streamed down my face. My body began to trembled as the truth sank in. I really fucked up. I'd lost him completely, if only he knew how much he'd meant to me. He was my light, my sunshine. How could have been so selfish? How could I have let my fear of rejection turn into this? My hands began to shake as the self hate set in. I pulled at my hair in frustration. How could have been so fucking stupid? No one meant more to me than he did yet I chose everyone over him? I grabbed the first thing my hand came into contact with and flung it at the wall, unfortunately it was my cellphone. Growling out in anger I stormed over to my discarded phone. The sight of the shattered screen fueled my rage. I laughed bitterly as I walked towards the door, there was nothing here for me to destroy. I gripped the door and tugged violently, the door creaked and groaned before completely disconnecting from the wall. With one last burst of adrenaline I flung the door across the room where it collided with the wall. Sighing I turned away from the old abandoned building and made my way toward my only refuge, Jackson's house. I felt something wet drip down my hand, glancing down I noticed a large gash on the palm of my hand. Groaning I continued making my way towards Jacksons house. When I finally arrived I was soaked with sweat, blood, and tears. I knocked on the door and waited. When he did finally answer the door his smile quickly turned to a frown. "what the hell happened to you?" Ignoring his question I pushed past him and headed into the bathroom. I hissed in pain as water touched the wound on my hand. Shuffling through the cabinet I finally found the first aid kit. Gingerly I wrapped the wound up before slumping into the floor. Damn I really hate myself. I'm so fucking stupid. Jackson appeared in the doorway and once again asked "what the hell happened to you, jaebum?" I shook my head as I motioned for him to come closer. He immediately got the jist and engulfed me in a hug, whispering "its okay, I'm here".