sightless.

15: Soul Stealing

Song: Dark Paradise by Lana Del Rey

As Amy lay in bed tossing and turning a couple nights later, everything she went through the last couple days kept replaying in her head. Her life was officially a disaster. She was living a dream for seven days. That was all it took for everything to fall down around her. Her rent was over five days late, and it wasn't the first time, so she came back to an eviction notice.

She still had to pay that fucking late fee, but she also now had to find a new apartment. She would never find anything even remotely as nice as this apartment in this part of town. Most other places at her price point were likely infested with rats and roaches. They probably had paper thin walls and not the best people living in the surrounding apartments. That was how Gotham was in the worst parts. She had heard many people talking about what the apartments were like, but she never thought she would have that problem. She knew she had found a gem, but now it was for nothing. She now had 12 days left to find something else.

To make matters worse, her next paycheck was going to be lower than even usual.  She only had three days of vacation left when this started, and so she had to take two days unpaid. She needed money for a deposit for a new apartment, and the only places that didn't need a deposit were dumps. Sigh.

In the fantasy of that fateful week, she never once thought about what she needed to do, other than see, again. She should have. It wasn't like her to not think about what needed to be done. She was usually on top of everything. Well, I was. It was just that I was on top of the Joker this time.

She cringed thinking of him. She couldn't believe she had been taken for such a fool. Was she so desperate to find someone, anyone, that she would cling to the first man she could, sight unseen? She realized that not having sex in a couple months before meeting him could have swayed her a little bit. But she fell in love with him. She fell in love with a horrible man. He was constantly in jail and in Arkham Asylum for the stunts he pulled, the people he killed, the robberies, and so much more. He was a lunatic.

And Amy fell in love with him. Even though, at the surface, she knew these things about him, she felt in her bones that something was off. She felt the same thing while with him; she just didn't realize it would be that she was going to screw the Joker. After thinking through everything, she knew there was something off about him, something different. She never once felt that it would turn out to be that he was a horrible person. So she couldn't truly believe that he was, even now.

She thought back to the night before she got her sight back. He made love to her the second time. It wasn't just sex; it was something so much more intimate and soul-stealing. It was what sealed the feelings in her heart. She didn't want to believe making love to her was the punchline of some big joke. Even their first time was nothing like what she would have expected with the Joker. She would have expected abuse, non-consent, dominance bordering on cruelty. She did get the dominance from him, but it was a thrilling dominance. It was a dominance that made her panties wet even as she thought about it now.

I need to get him out of my head. This is insanity. She knew it was insanity, but her heart was absolutely shattered. She fell in love with the Joker while she was blind, and she wished she was still blind. It would have made loving the Joker possible. But she wasn't, and there would never be a relationship between the two of them. He was the Crown Prince of Crime, and she was poor, sad, lonely Professor Amy. And he was a horrible person. Everyone feared and hated him. Right?  God, why am I even questioning this?

She thought of the look that passed over his face once he figured out what was unfolding in front of him. That look she at first thought was regret or loss was the tipping point. She knew he was probably annoyed. Then he laughed that laugh, and she knew she was a complete moron. He was probably overjoyed that he was able to pull off the ultimate joke. He probably had a ball, acting like someone who gave a shit about her. He probably had a great time making her feel like dirt when he kicked her out of his house. He was probably relieved she was finally gone, and he was able to finally laugh at her pain.

She continued her tossing and turning for hours after that trying to figure out how her life became such a nightmare.

-----

A few days later, she walked out of her new apartment building. She had to figure out a way to move all her things to her new place. It was as she expected—a dump, but it was her dump, and that was ok. It was within walking distance to the University, sort of. She would have to walk a couple miles to and from the college every day, whereas she was only walking a couple blocks from her old place. It was in the worst part of the city, as expected, but she would only be walking around during the day. There was a nightclub across the street that was open all hours of the night, every night. She knew that was going to be annoying, but she really didn't have a choice.

She walked to Joe's Mover's to see how much she would have to pay to have her things moved. When she walked through the door, there was a large gross man sitting behind the counter. The grotesque smell that she could only assume was him smacked her in the face. I am so not missing a rent payment again. Blind or not. "Hello, sir. I need to see how much it would be to move from 9th and Main to 16th and Hopewell."

He grunted and replied in a voice that sounded like he had been smoking since the womb, "500 bucks, lady. Don't usually go to those parts much."

Knowing that was an insane price, she calmly replied, "Sir, it's just a bed, a couch, a table, a couple chairs, and a couple boxes. There's no way that could cost that much."

"That's Mr. J's area, lady. He'll want payment for services on that block. I could prolly cut that number down for you, though, pretty."

Oh, great, Amy. Perfect place to move! Could I get any more stuck? "Oh, that would be great. How much could you cut that price?"

"Well, convince me." His lips pulled up at the ends, and the wrinkles in his forehead became more pronounced. Is he fucking serious? Oh, this is just ridiculous. She wanted to give up on everything. She was apparently now moving into Joker's domain, and she couldn't possibly pay the money the mover was expecting. Oh, and there was no way she was going to "convince him."

"No, thank you." She'd just move her mattress on top of a cab if she could pull that off and walk the rest of the boxes to the new apartment. She'd have to leave her couch and dining set behind, unless she could get a cabbie to help her with those, too. I can't believe the Joker requires payment for services rendered on that block. Just great, Amy! You pick the one block in all of Gotham that the Joker "owns."

A/N: This was a lot of filler to get to the next parts of the story. Sorry about that, but I hope you liked seeing into her thoughts after everything that's gone on. This girl is just plain down on her luck. I feel bad for her. Poor, poor Amy. Her heart and life is just in shambles. I really hope she figures out how to make life work for her now. (Hehe. I kind of feel like I'm just watching the story unfold and telling you guys about it. It's funny.) Let me know what you think, and as always, constructive criticism is always welcome.

Until next time, lovelies. Ta!