Already Gone

Chapter 13

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I stay still curled into bed watching the sun rise, I suddenly realized the hate I have for the sun. I couldn't fight the sun, I couldn't drag it down to cover up the light coming out of it. The sun would rise despite my hope it won't dragging me into another depressing day.

A soft knock came into the room, I didn't bother seeing who it is knowing it's Sky. 

Today is the day where we all wear black gathering up in a graveyard full of dead people. Today is the day where the death of my dad feels more real then ever. I don't think I can take seeing his body laying in a dark coffin.

I felt the bed dip making me look up at Sky with a small smile that didn't reach his face. At night I didn't sleep so I would sneak into his room and would would sit there talking with a few words said to each other or watching a movie.

"I'll be here Hailey" He reassured me for today.

I got up feeling my eyes heavy with grief, the pain in my throat never left. It was like my throat would close up every once and awhile trying to choke me.

I ran my hands over my face trying not to look like a wreck. I stared up at Sky for guideness trying to find comfort in the way his eyes would soften in concern or how his lips will pull into a small from and his eyebrows come together.

"Always?" I whispered.

"Always" His eyes soften.

I got up and close my distance with his feeling the heavy weight in my chest fade slowly. I lean my head on his shoulder. His arms automatically pulled me against his side making me feel more secure.

I got ready wearing a black lace dress up to my mid thigh and a long black boots just above my knee with a long black socks. I put my black curly hair into a plaite, I didn't care about make up so this is as ready as I will ever be.

I walked downstairs trying to get use to living in such a big house at times it's overwhelming. I would compare things to my house and how different it is. I know that even if I stay here for a long time it still won't feel like home. I wasn't ready to step foot inside the house where my mom's picture is every where. I wasn't ready to face the emptiness and sadness in the house. I wasn't ready to see the memories where we would stay up all night to watch horror films. I wasn't ready to see his empty bed.

For now this is the place where I can try to put myself back together.

I try to put on a brave face as I see them all down stairs waiting for me to go to the church.

A few nights ago walking past David and Amy's room the door was open slightly and I can hear David crying and Amy wrapping his arms around his husband. He cried shaking his head about how he wishes he could give everything to my dad. They hug each other at the loss of their friend anyone can clearly see that Tim was there brother, their best friend, the person that is a piece of them.

David and Amy shared my pain maybe that's why I feel some what attached to them already. They knew what I was going through. They didn't have to ask me if I was okay or telling me that things will get better.

Amy was already crying with red rims around her eyes but she never looked less perfect. David tried to put a poker face but the sadness is written all over him. Sky stood next to them with the comforting smile that always greet me.

I sighed and gave them a small smile trying not to let the tears come now.

"Let's go sweetie." Amy took my hand. 

          ~~//~~//~~

"I hate God" I said coldly staring out into the rainy street.