In the Band

Chapter 20

Chapter 20: Allison’s P.O.V.

Several days had passed since Christmas, but the tension between Brendon and I had only gotten heavier. On New Year’s Eve, after the band had played a small show at a coffee shop featuring a song they just wrote with Carson, we all decided to explore some shops around the city.

I was looking off at all the store names and trying to comprehend some of them in my own little corner, like always. Away from the two love birds and Jon and Spencer’s odd conversations about artists I didn’t know. Lately, I’ve been staying on the opposite side of the group from Brendon too.

Today, Zach was tagging along with us because it was the last day he was in the city. In my great fortune, we all got to stay here for another week. Meaning, I was suppressed to this secludedness for a whole seven days more. I was practically melting on the inside from dread. I mean, erm, joy.

A hand tapping on my shoulder brought me back to reality. I looked over and saw Brendon wearing large thick-rimmed glasses. His touch made my shoulder tense up.

“Do you want to go on a detour with me? We need to talk.”

Really, Brendon? How kind of you to decide to talk to me after six days of you not uttering a single word. You are such a gentlemen. “Sure,” I said dully.

He led me down a narrow street that had brick buildings on either side of it.  Once the buildings ceased, the street opened up in to a park with lots of sidewalks, bare trees, and snow. I shoved my hands deeper into my jacket pockets to shelter them from the cold.

Brendon sat down on a bench, using his hand to pat the area beside him, indicating for me to sit down. I noticed he was wearing his arm brace.

“Okay, so about the other night…” He looked down at his feet and took a big breath. “I think it’s safe to assume that we had sex.”

I already felt my face grow redder. My eyes were very focused on the black shoes I was wearing.

“First, I want to ask you something,” he paused, “Are you a virgin? Or were you a virgin before we…”

“No, you did not take my virginity, Brendon.” He sighed in relief.

There was an uncomfortable pause in conversation.

“And it’s too late for you to take the morning-after pill.”

My head shot up. I didn’t even think about that!

“But, I just want you to know I don’t have any STD’s or anything like that…” He trailed off noticing my breathing was uneven.

“Allison?”

I closed my eyes. It’s okay. I’m in Paris, France, have a gorgeous man next to me, and am possibly pregnant.

“No, no, good things.” I muttered.

It’s almost a brand new year, I have a fantastic best friend, and my sister is thousands of miles away… It doesn’t work if it’s bad! I ground my teeth together.

I’m young, go to a fantastic school, and have a very complicated relationship with Brendon Urie.  I finally managed to force myself to think happy thoughts. The last one is not entirely good, but it helped calm my nerves, so I’ll take it.

“I agree,” Brendon said beside me.

My eyes opened and my head shot towards his confused-looking face.

“You heard that?” he nodded and my face started burning.

“Why do you do that?” he asked me curiously.

“I list good things when I get panicky.”

“I see,” he seemed pleased he was on my happy list.

“Don’t get cocky. That was my third list,” I told his half-smiling face.

“I was probably on another one,” he said smugly.

“You weren’t,” I lied.

“Right,” he said, doubtingly.

There was a long pause in conversation, in which I looked back down at my shoes, thinking about the worst.

“What if I am pregnant?” I blurted out.

“You won’t be.” He said with finality.

“How do you know? We wouldn’t be able to find out for another month.” I said solemnly.

He wrapped his arms around me. I was surprised by the gesture, but I didn’t do anything to stop it.

“You won’t be.” He repeated reassuringly into my ear. His warm breath against my exposed skin caused me to shiver. Brendon let go of me and I immediately missed his warmth.

I was looking down at my feet again. His hand unexpectedly cupped my chin, and he turned my head towards him, bringing his face closer to mine. I closed my eyes.

“I was trying to remember all week, but I couldn’t. I want to find out what I missed.” He said when our noses were practically touching.

Brendon tilted his head and pressed his lips to mine. It felt like our mouths were made for each other. We sat on the bench and I’m sure there were many people around, but it felt like we were the only two people in the world. Our mouths moved together and he brought his hand up to cup my face, his hand was cold from the weather, but when he touched my skin I felt only warmth. After what would never be long enough, he pulled away.

“Good. So I didn’t miss much,” he said just as I was thinking about how that was the best kiss I ever had. My mouth dropped.

He saw my expression and laughed. “Just kidding.”

I punched his arm. “I hate you.”

“Love you too,” he smiled.

I started to smile back, then realized what he said. Love?

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Later that night, Carson, the boys and I were out at a bar and it was two minutes to midnight. The genuine smile of excitement on my face grew larger when I glanced at the clock and saw that it was 11:59.

The whole day since me and Brendon kissed I felt so connected with everyone, like I was also part of the group. My little corner diminished and I tore down the walls I built up in the last week.

“A minute left!” Carson yelled practically jumping off of her bar stool.

I haven’t smiled so much in one day in what feels like years.

“30 seconds!”

The New Year was a new beginning. The warm feeling of hope inside me bubbled over and I felt like I was glowing.

Although many were yelling in French, my English colleagues and I were yelling in our native language. “Five, four, three, two,” this is it, “ONE!’ I shouted along with everyone. “Happy New Year!”

I saw Ryan kiss a beaming Carson on the cheek.

With a huge smile and uber-confidence, I turned around to where Brendon was smiling and leaned close to him. Puckering my lips I waited for the New Year’s kiss to come.

“What are you doing?” I opened my eyes with my lips still pursed to see a grimacing Brendon, looking at me like I was crazy.

I quickly leaned back and felt my cheeks going red with rejection and embarrassment.

“Nothing,” I said, forcing out a laugh.

I felt my hope drain.

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