I Want To Die~~~chap. 1

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Chapter 1:

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Have you ever tried dying?

Have you ever thought about killing yourself?

 No. Well I have.

I've wanted to kill myself ever since I was 7. To get away from this hell I call life. 

I, Raven Cornelia James, want to die.

My life's been hell.

 Have you ever been beaten till you've blacked out. No? Well I have.

Have you've ever been stabbed because you talked back. No? Well I have.

I want to stop the pain. I want to make it all go away.

I'm going to make that wish come true.

I've tried many times to kill myself, but it's always failed.

Stabbing myself, hanging myself, hell even setting myself on fire, but none ever worked. They stopped me before I could die.

Call me crazy. I don't care. I want out.

I looked at myself in the mirror. My ice pale skin, which my mother loved so much. The same skin that Jason loved to touch. My light grey-blue eyes, that daddy said people would die for. The same eyes that Jason can't get enough of. My long, waist length hair that mother wouldn't dare cut. The same hair that Jason loved to run his hands through.

My last chance out of this hell. Drowning.

I stood in front of the tub. Water filled to the brim.

Finally. My last chance. I slowly drop into the water.

"Raven" A voice calls from outside the door. "Let me in."

Chase. He can't stop me this time.

I slowly lean down into the water. My face is under. I can hear chase still banging on the door.

No more. I'm finally going to be free.

My lungs burn. my body contracting, trying to get air. My mouth opens out of reflex, water rushing down my throat. It burns. My hands cover my mouth trying to keep the water out.

My eyes are open. I want to see my life drain away from me. The banging on the door increases. I don't know if it's been a minute or an hour. My vision goes blurry. Black dots dance across my eyes.

I remember the first time I've tried to kill myself. Jason had locked me in my room and wouldn't let me out. I've been locked up for days haven't eaten anything. I thought he was going to let me die. I was scared at first, but as I remembered everything him and his goons had done, I wanted it to happen. I walked in to the bathroom and slipped. I banged into the mirror, making it fall and crash against the floor. It splitted into huge pieces. I landed on a heap of them, the glass pieces penetrating my back. At least I'll be with my parents. I slowly had sat up. Flinching at the pain. I grabbed a peace in my hands, the sharpness cutting my hand. Why bleed to death when I could end it quickly, I thought. Without a second thought, I plunged it in my neck. Pain shot up my body. I started chocking. I kept coughing until blood came. Then, I blacked out. As you could see, I didn't die. I lost my voice for a few weeks and was back to 'normal'.

I can feel myself slipping away. I welcome it. 

The pain was killing me. I just wanted the darkness to gobble me up and the pain to stop. There was no air in my lungs; it burns.

The darkness overcomes me, but I know I'm still alive. My heart beat starts to slow. My lungs still fight to get air. It's too late.

Thump... Thump.... Thump..........Thump.

I can faintly hear the door bust open. My name's being called.

"Come on Raven!" I hear a voice.  "Don't die on me" it was chase.

He was forcing air into my throat, but none was reaching my lungs.

-- but it's too late.

My heart slowly comes to a stop.

I'm free.

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There it is. Sorry it's short. Really, really short but....

I just wanted ya'll to get a feel of her personality and how she feels before the real story starts.

Also, sorry for the late upload. I'll be uploading another chappi tomorrow.

Peace and chocolate.

Votes and comments will highly help me upload faster. *wink, wink* 

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