Candy Girl

feelings are fatal

Feelings are fatal - mxmtoon
"I'm happy for you, I'm smiling for you. It's always for you."

Chapter Seventeen

Carrisa

"We need to talk," I stated as soon as we opened our house's door.

"Ughhh," Serenity groaned. "Carissa, I'm hungover."

"I don't care." I said, "You made me lie and now you're going to listen." I texted my mom last night that I was staying over at Gwen's and Serenity was with Danielle studying for finals.

"Are you seriously trying to 'parent' me right now?"

"Serenity, who the heck did you met last night?" There was a pause. "I'm dead serious I will tell mom about this, if you don't speak up." I grabbed my phone and threaten her with our mom's contact displaying on the screen.

Serenity bursted into a cynical laughter as she shook her head. "It was a friend," She lied.

"Do you think I am stupid?"

"Why do you suddenly care, Carrisa? Why don't just you  get your ass on those summer camps like you always do and stop trying to play the 'better person' card."

"What are you even talking about? This has nothing to do with what's happening right now."

"Oh, yes. Yes, it does. I hate the fact that you try to act like you care about me, when clearly you don't. You think I forgot all those summers you left me on my own to deal with mom and dad? And don't try to act like you didn't have a choice. You begged mom to take you! Every time things got seriously fucked up with mom and dad you were gone. You were hiding at Gwen's or Ellie's. I had to stay here bearing with the screams and the fights. I cried myself to sleep countless of times." She showed me her bruised knees. "Guess what happened last night? I almost fell of the stairs because I tried to keep them from killing each other. I'm so sick of this family. Everyone in this house is so fake! Smiling and pretending like nothing is happening. So, your whole sisterly act, I'm not buying it. Fuck off."

I stayed silent. The sound of a pair of keys opened the door. It was mom.

"What are you doing?" She asked exasperated. She was so tired she didn't even notice Serenity's current state of puked clothes and messy hair. Sometimes, I suspected she knew about Serenity's excessive drinking and partying, but decided to ignore it. "We're supposed to be ready for the pageant rehearsal in thirty minutes. I want you all ready. Now!"

Serenity and I headed to our respective rooms. I took a shower, and picked up the dress that laid on my bed. I stared at the mirror across the room, my eyes were fixed upon the reflection of myself and my fingers clenched into the light weighted pistachio green fabric.

"Carrisa, are you almost ready? I'm leaving in ten minutes." The calls of my mother seemed to have turn into mere whispers as my head was not able to detect it, my mind was elsewhere.

"Pastel colors really suit you, this is a good choice." she said as she walked towards me. Don't mistake this for a complement, it wasn't. They never sounded like one. They sounded one step towards a remark. I forced a smile as I gathered my posture. She grabbed me by the shoulders and readjust my posture. She took a good look at me. I knew she was trying to find the smallest imperfection. My mom's hand were secured around the fabric as she tried to arrange it as best as possible. My mom, she looked as stunning as always, whatever she wore she managed to look beautiful. But she looked tired. My mom always looked about to burst into tears. This only made me try to smile wider. Maybe, it would make her happier. I needed to win this year's contest, I heard a voice inside my head speak. This will make her happy, another said. I have to be happy for the both of us, another added.