Alfýkin: The Last of the Elves

To Feel

A figure, smaller than the rest, walked into the midst of the circle shouting angrily. Illeandir recognized the golden hair as Nara's. A few moments more of her shouting and the group dispersed leaving her. She sunk to her knees and buried her face in her hands. Illeandir could hear her quiet sobs.

Slowly he climbed off the roof and hoisted himself over the balcony and dropped lightly down. Nara didn't notice him until he sat down next to her. She didn't speak for a while until she composed herself somewhat and looked him in the eye.

"You are better?" she asked.

"I am..." Illeandir paused, "weak still," he admitted.

"The council is doing everything they can to find who poisoned you and my father," Nara assured him. Illeandir did not feel confident in the loyalties of the council but he did not say so.

"What I do not understand is why someone would want Eldarion dead," he said. Nara's bright eyes darkened and she shook her head.

"I do not know, Illeandir, I don't know." Tears streamed down her face. Illeandir sat there awkwardly tugging on a blade of grass until it broke free. He did not know what to say to her. She had lost her father and only remaining family member. He had lost a friend. That did not compare to her loss. He did not feel the grief she did, only regret at the passing of someone who still had many years left.

"I don't know what to do," Nara said turning to Illeandir, need in her eyes. Illeandir though for a moment and spoke slowly, choosing his words carefully.

"You must remain strong."

"I do not want to be strong." Nara rested her forehead against Illeandir's bare shoulder.

"You are the queen. Even when you are broken you must fix your kingdom. You are no longer one part of the kingdom. You are many parts. The kingdom depends on you Nara. You cannot let it fall as your forebears did," Illeandir said. Nara was quiet for a minute.

"How do yo do it?" she asked, sitting upright again. Illeandir looked at her quizzically.

"Do what?"

"You're so detached. It is like you do not feel."

"I feel. I feel the sun and the wind. I feel earth beneath my feet and the anger it feels."

"Why is it angry?"

"I do not know."

"What else do you feel? Do you feel nothing for my father's death? Or is he just another mortal human to you? Doomed to die." Illeandir could sense the irritation building in her.

"Death is not man's doom. At least, I do not think so. Eldarion's death was regrettable..."

"Regrettable?" Nara nearly shouted. Illeandir sighed and closed his eyes and searched himself for an answer.

"My heart tells me to reject his death, that a man like him could not simply be gone. The life drawn from him so easily. Yet, my mind and eyes say to accept his death and move on. Nothing can last forever."

"You've spent so long hiding yourself away that you have forgotten how to feel!" Nara shouted rising to her feet. Illeandir hung his head and did not look at her.

"I have not forgotten," Illeandir said quietly but Nara did not hear him. She stormed off leaving him behind. "I have not forgotten how," he repeated to himself. "I choose not to."

He slowly stood and made his way back to his room through passages of the Halls of Healing, what few people he met hardly spared him a glance. At last he pushed open the door to his room and sat heavily in his bed. He curled into a ball and lay there for a long time, resisting sleep and the nightmares it brought. Someone entered his room and left minutes later.

At last he slipped into an uneasy sleep filled with images of dead bodies mutilated beyond recognition. A lone figure walked toward him. As it approached the form became larger and larger until it stood before him wreathed in shadow and flame with a great sword held before it.

Before he could move the shadow sliced across his chest with the great sword. Illeandir screamed and the shadow tackled him. Burning him and clawing with talons of fire. He fought the beast. Trying desperately to free himself from the icy hot grip.

Suddenly his eyes flew open and before his face was Ithilwen, bleeding heavily from a large gash on her cheek. Her eyes were wider than the moon. Her mouth was forming words but he could not hear her. The terror was still so real before him. He could not move, could not think. Blood rushed in his ears as he gasped for air. His heart hammered in his chest. He felt that for sure it would give out at any second. He was paralyzed. Unable to move as his mind played out the dream in his head over and over again.

Ithilwen eased her hold on his arms and wiped the blood from her face, smearing it from her chin to her ear. Illeandir relaxed and sat up with his head between his knees as he regained his breath. The room was dark, lit only by the moonlight coming through the windows.

Once Illeandir was calm and fire no longer seemed to dance across his vision he looked up. Concern was etched across Ithilwen's face. He pulled his shirt over his head and sat at the edge of the bed carefully rubbing his throbbing hand. A bruise was already beginning to form. Ithilwen sat next to him, her shoulder brushing against his.

"That is the third time in two days. They are getting worse." She knew about his dreams, the second time he had to be held down to keep himself from falling she demanded to be told and he relented and told her about his dreams. Illeandir sighed heavily and walked out onto the balcony in silence. "What will you do?" Ithilwen asked, following him.

"I have to find him."

"Zaharias?" Ithilwen asked. Illeandir nodded. "When will you leave?"

"Two maybe three days."

"I am coming with you."

"It won't be easy."

"I'm still coming. The council looks to blame somebody for the poisoning. If they do not find the culprit they will blame you."

"Why?"

"Because you showed up the night of the incident and you were the only one with the king when he was eating. Also because you are not human," Ithilwen said.

"Why would I poison myself though?"

"To make sure the blame isn't laid on you. if they can't convict you they will turn to me. They know I did not always get along with Eldarion."

"And so we leave before the blame can be placed on either of us," Illeandir said. Ithilwen nodded. "I will tell Nara."

"She will not like it," Ithilwen said.

"It must be done," Illeandir said. Ithilwen nodded again.

"Get some rest," she said. Illeandir grinned humorlessly. He would not be able to sleep. Either way he still returned to his bed and watched Ithilwen standing on the balcony illuminated by the moon. In the morning he would confront Nara.

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I did this whole chapter in one day! Probably going to redo it some time later.

Bye!!!