Unfabulously Pretty

Unfabulously Pretty: Chapter Forty-Four

          “Shoot, Cain!” Ash exploded. “You did not just puke on my bag.”

          “Uh…”

          “Oh. My. Brother.” Said Ash. He usually replaces ‘Gosh’ with ‘Brother’ whenever he’s fuming. “Shane, please tell me this is a dream.”

          “Sorry.” I shrugged helplessly. “I wish I could, though.”

          “ARGH!” Ash screamed uncontrollably as Cain threw up more.

          “I’m…just gonna go.” I got up on my two feet hastily, completely aware of the attention that we’re driving. “Here,” I handed him the newspaper. “You might need this.”

          I had dashed out of the place, leaving ten bucks on the table. Well, I’d feel extremely bad if I just leave like that so I had to do something and leaving some cash is all I can do.

          We were supposed to study for tomorrow’s exam together but I guess it’s cancelled. I walked slowly on the pavement. Now that I’m alone, thinking seems a lot easier. It’s just the kind of habit I have whenever I’m not occupied. I’d still find ways to occupy myself when I’m not, like thinking for example.

          I’ve planted my legs on solid ground when I saw a few people walking pass me. There was a blonde and a muscular man walking together, seemingly dating. These two reminded me of Taylor and Drew. My heart felt heavy, but I didn’t know why.

          She’s with Drew.

          Yeah, it’s time to be honest with myself, Drew really bothers me. The relationship really bothers me. To me it’s like Ying and Yang, Drew is like the opposite of Taylor. He’s the party guy, drinking alcohol, hanging out late at night in clubs, and he’s probably smoking, too. And Taylor…gosh, where should I start?

          When Eugene told me about the whole thing, I couldn’t take it in. I thought he was joking. But as I realize how serious he was, it only became clear to me that this isn’t a joke. They are really together, officially a couple. It’s so sudden, so quick…I just can’t describe anything with words.

          When Leslie suspected that I was jealous, well, what’s there to say? I am jealous. I’m not happy with the fact that Drew can just appear and mean so much to her, just like that. I guess I was missing all the times we had together. Taylor and I are so close…at least we were close, and I’d die for her if I must. Last night when we were having that conversation, I couldn’t help but wish that it would last forever. But hey, this is reality. It’s not a fantasy, it’s not a dream. I wanted the moment to last because how often can we talk like that now? She’s always so occupied with Drew, Drew and more Drew. Her life seems so miserable now, and that day…that day when we were alone, in the school backyard, it felt different, yet special. At that moment when she looked at me with tears in her eyes, I just felt like I had to do something to make her smile again.

          It’s just that she means so much to me. If only she knew…

          But she’s with Drew now. Zoey’s with Cain, Ash is with Faith, so what about me? At first, it never bothered me to think that I’m going to be single for some time now, until when I stopped and looked back. I actually felt alone. I felt like some silly loner, wandering aimlessly without a destination.

          Taylor’s just a friend. That’s what I kept telling myself. She can do whatever she likes, I won’t be bothered if she dates Drew, I’m not going to interfere. What was I saying? Sure, those words might’ve fooled others, but it definitely didn’t fool me.

          Darn, just face it already. She broke my heart. Taylor broke my heart.

          The lightning strike and soon enough, rain started pouring down from the dark sky. I felt comforted. It felt good to know that at least somebody or something is crying with me. I felt my heart ache, but it wasn’t the first time. I’ve got the same feeling when I’ve heard the news from Eugene, when I saw the both of them walking hand in hand together down the hallway, and the feeling was most obvious when I saw her face. I guess I was just trying to hard to be tough.

          Though, sometimes I try so hard to be strong, deep down I’m just breaking apart. I’m not a strong person. I try to be strong. I didn’t want to appear weak, not in front of people. I didn’t want to show my weakness and have others to show concern. I didn’t want people to care about me. I just want to be alone and fix whatever problems I have in my mind. I just want to do things on my own without involving anyone else. I don’t want to be a troublemaker.

          It was then when the rain became heavier, when I couldn’t bear it any longer, when I’ve let out a tear and walked home on my own, watching the happy couple disappearing from sight.