masochist : harley quinn

17

Arthur didn't come after me.

I walked through the streets of the city, before finally arriving at my apartment.
I sighed heavily, kicking my shoes off. I needed to change my clothes.
I flicked through the garments in my wardrobe, each of them reminding me of my old life. I didn't want any of it. I wanted to get rid of it all. It had to go. I was done with it all.

I grabbed handfuls of the clothes, snapping coat hangers and popping buttons in the process.
"They need to go." I muttered, tossing the clothes into the trash. "She's gone now. She's dead." I whispered to myself.
I kept a single black tee shirt and pair of jeans - an outfit to wear for now. Once I had new clothes, I would get rid of them. I just wanted to drown it all out. I wanted to escape Harleen.

There was a soft knock at my door.
"Harleen." Arthur called.
"Go away, Arthur." I begged him quietly.
The door opened and he stepped into the room. He eyed the pile of clothes near the trash. "What are you doing?" He asked.
"I had to get rid of it all." I mumbled.
"Getting rid of the past?" He asked with a sad smile.
I nodded.

"Come on. You gotta go do stuff. Let's go." He said, ushering me out of my lonely apartment.
I let him lead me out of my apartment block, to the car downstairs. "How did you find me?" I asked curiously.
"I'm always looking out for you, H." He smiled charmingly.

I was so shocked Arthur wasn't trying to kill me right now - I broke the Joker out of Arkham Asylum!
I had totally shocked everyone - goody two shoes Harleen had fallen for the Clown Prince of Crime himself.

I slid into the passenger seat and sat quietly, not quite knowing how to cope with everything that had happened. It felt like everything had collapsed. There was still tension between us.

"Arthur," I began slowly. "How did you end up in this job? What happened to Arkham?" I asked. "Harleen - Arkham Asylum is dead. The whole system collapsed. Half the staff are dead. I lost my job...So here I am." He grimaced.
It was my fault. My fault that he'd lost his job. My fault that the Joker had broken out. My fault that Arkham had collapsed. Everything was my fault. 
"Why here? Why work for J?" I asked, feeling like I was asking too many questions. I felt so fucking guilty.
"It's one of the best security gigs in Gotham. It's temporary, just until something better comes along." He said, his tan arm tensing as he turned a corner.
I nodded in understanding.

"Do you really love him, Harleen?" He asked after a moment. I stared out the window, hoping if I acted like I didn't hear him he wouldn't ask again.
"Harleen?" He asked again.
"Stop calling me that!" I snapped. As soon as I saw the hurt in his expression I felt even more guilty.
"What am I supposed to call you, then?" He shot back.
"Harley. My name's Harley now." I mumbled.
"Harley. That what he calls you?" Art asked, a look of disdain on his face whenever he talked about Mister J. I could tell he didn't like him.
"Yeah. I like it." I replied defiantly.
"Well, alright Harley. Where we headin?" He smiled.

We walked through the streets of downtown Gotham, popping in and out of stores. Half of me was petrified to be out during the day, because I was a criminal now. But Gotham wasn't a city of saints, and everyone had their secrets.

I'd bought myself a few things, feeling a little guilty every time I used Mister J's card for me. I didn't want to spend money on myself.
But Mister J told me not to worry about money...

Arthur had accompanied me throughout the day, offering to hold my bags. He hadn't complained or rolled an eye once. He must have really needed this job - otherwise I'm sure he would have turned away and never spoken to me again.

I liked the power - I liked that I was in control. I felt like a princess. And this was all because of Mister J - he was spoiling me.
My phone buzzed with a message.

Mister J: How you going, baby? Everything alright?

I smiled. He cared about me. At the end of the day, no matter what he did, I knew that deep down he loved me. Or at least he was obsessed with me. And obsession is good enough for me.

Me: Yup! Got a surprise for you. See you tonight... x

I glanced at the lacy black lingerie hanging in the change room with a grin. I held it against my skin, imagining myself in it. I wanted to looked sexy for Mister J tonight.

I looked at Arthur through the gap between the change room wall and the curtain - he was sitting, holding the bags of clothes I'd bought and scrolling through his phone.
He must have felt my staring because he looked up and we awkwardly made eye contact through the change room. I looked away and pulled the curtain over further.

In a way, Arthur was the complete opposite to Mister J - Mister J was bad. The king of Gotham's underbelly. Arthur was good. He was normal, I guess. Cookie cutter normal. Charming, and attractive I suppose.
Mister J was chaos, unpredictability. Arthur was calm, measured.

I turned to look at myself in the change room mirror again, taking a moment to really look myself up and down. I almost didn't recognise myself - I looked so different now.
I was a new girl.