Sarah Montana Living In The Boys' Dorm

Ch 84. Lost Control

"You... better go shower. Your hair is turning green." he chuckled. I was embarrassed. I ran out of the room and jumped right into the shower with the highest temperature without taking a look in the mirror if it really was green. I was just so... ashamed. No that's not the right word. I was humiliated. So humiliated.

When he said that, the only sentence that ran through my head was how humiliated I was. I was so into that moment and let my guard down. It was just the same as when I told him that I love him and then attacked when he was all open. It was just the same thing. I told him "You got to learn how to not get distracted". I just got distracted by him, because I was expecting something.

How could I do that to him? I wish I never told him that I love him. I didn't even mean it that way! All I knew was that as soon as I had told him those words, my brain just forced out my heart and took over me immediately and then did that. My brain is smart and that's why I'm listening to it.

He was taking revenge. I sure deserved it because even I admit that I was a jerk, doing something like that. Maybe it felt like taking back a present you already gave away. But in my case Darrén showed me the present and as soon as I was going to receive it he hid it, saying "No I won't let you have it.".

Why am I so selfish? I have hundreds of questions to God about me. I just wish that you could call him or something.

I turned off the water and got out with a towel wrapping up my body. My clothes was dripping curry and I could clearly not use it, and thought that it'd been smarter if I just showered with the clothes on to get most of it off.

"Clothes!" I yelled as loud as possible.

"You need clothes?" I heard his voice from right outside the bathroom.

"Well, I can use the clothes I wore but I don't think showering was a great idea to get it off if I'm using those." I ironically told him.

"Um... Do you need anything else?" he asked in a weird tone.

"Like what? Wait, I'm a bit hungry why don't you go get KFC for me?" I joked around because I couldn't quite catch what he meant.

"No, not that... Underwear."

Shit. I didn't think about that. Him getting my underwear means - He'll look through all my underwear, and more than that is nothing I know since I have no idea how a guys mind works.

"Uh..." I stuttered. What the hell am I going to reply?! If I say no, he'll be grossed and know that I'm not wearing underwear! "Y-yeah... Just take something." was my conclusion. The best I manage, which sucked.

His steps faded away and I knew that he had left. My is my heart beating like this? This time I actually had an answer to my own questions. Because I'd be embarrassed that he'd know what kind of underwear I'm wearing.

He got back. "Where is it?"

What? "It's in my bag...-" I said quietly and then realised something. All my clothes burnt up in the fire! Am I stupid or what?! "N-Never mind! I forgot... I don't have any clothes..." I mumbled.

"I''ll lend you mine." he told me and went somewhere. I guess I'll have to wash my underwear I was wearing before and use them instead. Hah. I totally forgot that all my belongings burnt up. How great am I? I'll have to go shopping with Emíne and Ambreal later.

After seeing that they didn't have so much stans on I could relax and put them on. "Here." his voice motioned me and he reached an arm in with clothes.

"Thanks." I took the clothes and noticed how big his shirt was and that you could see through it. How many problems does God or whoever it is make me encounter?

"Can you bring something else? It's see-through..."

I just don't care anymore! I've always been that person that gets embarrassed by everything she does! How can this change anything?

"Thank you." I said when I finally changed after getting another shirt from him.

"No prob."

"What the hell are we going to do with lunch?" I sighed when I saw the whole apartment being all yellow-greenish.

He was quiet, as if he felt guilty about starting the food fight. "Sorry, you worked hard on making it and I ruined it for something childish like this."

I couldn't really help laughing, because he looked so serious. Take it easy! Maybe I worked hard on it but I've made two other helpings so does it matter if he ruins one? But now I regretted laughing at him since he was glaring at me.

"S-Sorry, but it's really fine. We'll just take the ones I cooked before you came." I told him before his anger would blow up into another food fight. We took whatever we wanted from the fridge and ate in silence, but when he cracked the social bubble we started talking for a long time, even when we had finished.

This felt special. Like I was his family right now. Like we wake up every morning and see each other with smiles, and I cook him something to eat. It felt great for some reason and I was comfortable here, possibly even more than at the old one. I've only been here for one day but even so it felt like I've lived here all the time since we blended into our habits so fast. He even stayed here even though he could have returned to the dorm.

"You sure that you don't need to go back?" I wanted to make sure. He left a smile that remained on his face until we went to bed with a "Yes."

"Where are you going to sleep...?" I nervously asked him.

"The couch." he said but I wasn't so happy about that.

"Your couch is not good enough. It has a big hole and you'll just fall through it if you sleep there." I complained, even though this isn't my home. But it felt like it and I didn't want him to sleep there. And of course, I have no idea how that big hole got to the couch.

"Where am I going to sleep then?"

"It's either me sleeping on the couch because it's your house or we share."

He left a sigh but gave me a faint smile, coming into the bed. His bed was small and I was lucky that it was right next to a wall or I'd fall out of it immediately since he's so big.

I've never mentioned this before but lately, every time I go to bed at home when I think of my personal problems I've always ended up crying myself to sleep; and this time wasn't an exception. I knew it'd happen but compared to the other times I didn't hold the tears back.

He didn't know at first and couldn't see because it was dark but maybe he just understood it after a while. Well... My house did get burnt down some days ago.

But I felt safe. And excited at the same time.

I'm home.

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SORRY :) It actually just came along the way, I didn't plan that at all!

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