(DISCONTINUED)
❝They say I'm beautiful. But what if I can't see what they see?❞
about a woman
who saw herself
as ugly.
#109 in Short Story (05/21/2017)
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#123 in Short Sto...
Sooner than expected, Kristen (who is still too thin for her age and height) is declared healthy and was discharged from the hospital - an unexpected miracle. And that means she has to go back home and a little later on - back to work. Her friends, family members and her tutor have been sending her greetings and little gifts to wish her fast healing. But that hasn't made her feel any better.
She is being pitied - something she loathes. Now everyone has seen her weak side. Everybody knows she is not as perfect as she seems, that she is everybody's fool. Are they disappointed from her lies and hide-and-seeks? Do they hate her?
"Of course we don't hate you, silly!" , Taylor ruffles her hair, chuckling. But Kristen does not find it funny.
"Please, leave me to dress myself," she says. She spoke too quietly, almost like a whisper. She has gone through a dramatic period in her life which she won't be able forget that easily. No girl her age deserves to lie in hospital, diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa.
Her brother exits the room, prior to her wish and Kristen can sense he has felt upset for her.
Can't they just stop?
She is trying to convince herself she is fine by reminding herself that she is going back home. Sure, she has problems with digesting certain foods and other issues, but she is going to be fine.
Our heroine has weaned from wearing tight clothes. So she is thankful that her mother has brought her more comfortable clothes to change in.
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Kristen wears her hair down. It's no use to traumatize it. The doctor has warned her that she may lose it due to stress and lack of nutrition, when one morning the actress has seen some more hair on her hairbrush.
"You may have to cut your hair or shave your head off, if it continues falling," the doctor has threatened her that day, almost bringing her to tears. So it is more serious than she has thought.
In the car, once she is seated comfortably, she plugs her earphones in and plays a rock song about the famous people and how fake they look in the society. The lyrics are so deep. That is when she vows she won't let fame get to her head. So that when she listens to that song it won't remind her of her possible future self.
The actress opens the car window and lets the warm air burst inside. She hasn't felt fresh air since she has been stuck in that awful hospital, unable to go out. It has become something foreign for her.
"Kristen, close the window!" , her mother scolds. She has gone back to her old self - being the strict and controlling woman she is in reality. In front of her, Kristen obeys and fears of speaking up and standing up for herself. It's wrong. Only in her dreams, she is stronger and braver. In the real world, she is just a pipsqueak, a teenage dirtbag. Or worse - a teen idle.
She is relieved to finally go back home. She is sure the wolves Jack and Lily and her cat, whose name has recently been changed to Jella, have missed her. And her friends from her previous school and the neighborhood are probably waiting outside for her, holding balloons and a "WELCOME HOME" sign.
From being fed via feeding tubes, she has to have gained weight. How is she going to lose it? What is the mirror going to show her at home? She has been forbidden to use it in the hospital. What about her razors? Have they found them?
The most important question: how is she going to fool everyone around her that there's nothing wrong now!
