SATAN◦ANTOINE GRIEZMANN

TREIZE

(A/N- oh my god look how cute Antoine is, he's literally my sunshine.)

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ANTOINE

It seems like she's sadistic, she likes to feel pain, whenever I hurt her and it happened for several times now, she keeps forgiving me again and again. For me, it seems as if she loves to get hurt by me, not physically of course, but mentally. She doesn't care how many times I hurt her, she will forgive me no matter what, I don't think it's pathetic, I think she has never been in love and this time she determines to be. Only thing is, I'm not for her, she will get hurt many more times and it will break her over and over again. She doesn't deserve all of this, she doesn't deserve me.

It was the day after all that happened at the club, she didn't answer my last text but she forgave me so she can't be mad at me, she just can't. I'm sure she fell in love with me and that's one of the biggest mistakes she has ever made in her life, by that it shows how determined she is to ruin herself slowly. And I know I don't feel the same, I don't love her, or at least I'm trying to convince myself I am not.

I took a deep breathe before trying to aim for the net, I had training which meant a free time to calm down and forget all about Ella for now.

I don't want her, I don't love her and I will never will, she chose to fall in love with me and she should know it requires a broken heart, she was already broken and depressed before I met her and there was something about her that made me want to be near her, but now that I'm convinced she's in love with me, it was all gone.

"What are you thinking about?" Fernando asked me and I shrugged, I don't want to tell him about the new things I found out. I kicked the ball, Jan could not catch the ball, it touched the net. I turned to look at Fernando and said, "I think she's in love with me." I blurted out, I didn't care anymore.

"And how did you realize that? It's pretty serious, you know, you can't just assume it." he said and I was sick of him trying to act like a caring father, I like him more when he tries to act my age.

"She keeps forgiving me again and again, I've kissed several girls in front of her and it's like a routine, she shout at me, go outside and cry and at the end she forgives me, every single time. It's insane." I said, it wasn't a normal thing, it was almost crazy at that moment.

"What's the problem? Do you want her to hate you?" Fernando asked me, I rolled my eyes, of course not.

"No, but I don't want her to continue getting hurt, I think she likes getting hurt or something." I said, passing the ball to Koke.

"So don't hurt her! I thought you're smarter than this." he said, burshing his fingers through his light brown hair which reminds me I have to dye my hair anytime soon.

"I can't do this, don't you understand? I'm not a man that could fit in a stable relationship." I explained my friend, I really should call Olivier or Paul, I think they can help me way better than Koke or Fernando.

"Fucking hell, Anto, your life are too complicated." he sighed, I bit my lips, he's right, but I am the one to make them so complicated.

As the training has ended, I drove back to my house, I have to speak to Olivier. I thought about calling Paul but the only thing the guy will suggest is to fuck her again and finish the deal.

I arrived at my house, I quickly dialed my friend's number, he answered right away.

"Ça va?" he asked me through the phone in French.

"Fine, I need your help." I told him, walking around the house, it was nerve wrecking, I had no idea what I should so with Ella, what will be my next move? I don't even think there will be a next move.

"I thought this day will come, what's the problem?" I couldn't help but chuckle at his comment.

"There's a girl and I don't know what to do." I explained, he fake-gasped as if he was surprised. I always come to him when there's problems with girls.

"What's with the girl?"

"I think she fell in love with me, she caught my eyes the day we met and I couldn't stay away, she looked special. But, as I got to know her, things has changed, every single time I'm at the club, I feel the need to kiss a random girl and I did that several times in front of her. Yet, she forgave me for three times now, it's insane." I summed up the whole story for him.

"She is in love with you, there's no way she isn't, did you sleep with her?" he asked, I took a deep breathe.

"Yes, I was her second time." I informed him, it was personal for her but I didn't care.

"Shit, what do you feel towards her?" he asked, I bit my lips, I have no idea.

"She's beautiful, her personality is even more beautiful but I can't change myself for her, it will never happen." I told him, I could hear some english speakings in the background, he was probably hanging out with his teammates.

"Why don't you just try? I mean if she is so special, why not?" he asked, again, I have no idea.

I've never been in this position, I've never tried to date someone and I don't want to. I prefer the single life, this way I can bring home five girls in a row and never give a damn about it. It's easy and the girls can't say no to me.

"Because it feels like she's clingy, I don't like it. But man, she's so beautiful." I said, she really was. One f the most beautiful girls I've ever seen, yet, I thought the looks doesn't matter, the personality does.

"Don't tell me you want her only for her looks." he said, he sounded disappointed and so was I. It really did sound as if I cared only for her looks.

"At first I did but now kind of not. I don't know what to do." I finally said, I was so hopeless and Olivier didn't really help my like I hoped.

"Try to be a man for once and stop hooking up with random girls, that's your mission for now." he demanded.

That's all my fun, what will I do instead?