34B. |raylijah

48

"Mike?" Elijah flashed a bewildered expression to the man standing in his doorway. Mike gave him a sympathetic smile as he held a bouquet of sunflowers—he began to frown when he noticed Elijah didn't look happy to see him. "What are you doing here?" He didn't mean to come off so snarky but this was truly the last person he wanted knocking at his door.

"You're not happy to see me?" He asked, the flowers now resting at his side. His expression softened as he glanced over Elijah's tiresome features—the bags under his eyes were prominent and he wore a pair of visibly stained pajamas.

"We're not a thing, Mike," Elijah fought the urge to roll his eyes. "And I wasn't expecting company so I'm a little...surprised," He peeked his head out of the door, eyeing the empty hallway. He hadn't seen Jacob, Josh or Rayan in days—it left him just enough time to wallow and drown in his own guilt without running into anyone who could've possibly made it worse.

"Sorry, we were just having sex like we were a thing so I might've been a little confused." The man shot back, his lips curled into a grimace. He was a little hurt by Elijah's sudden change of behavior—he'd ghosted the man and even went as far as avoiding him at work, parking his car on the opposite side of the garage. "The hell is your problem?" He felt played.

"You knew I was with Ray," Elijah hissed. "What were you expecting out of this, Mike? C'mon."

"I told you I had feelings for you and you told me that was mutual! So maybe I was expecting y'know...a fucking relationship?"

"Mike," He began, now realizing he'd probably lead the man astray with his actions. "I'm sorry for putting you in the middle of this but I don't want us to be together. I love Ray and–" A crisp pop echoed throughout the hallway as Mike's hand quickly collided with Elijah's cheek. The man winced, grabbing the side of his face. "Okay, I deserve that." Elijah admitted, watching as Mike's face held a sad look.

"And a lot more too." He dropped the flowers and turned toward the stairs. Just as he was about to head down, Rayan bumped into him—eyeing the man cautiously with an intimidating look in his eye. He stared down at Mike, not even daring to peel his eyes away.

"Classy." He remarked, glancing over at Elijah for a moment. He'd still been clutching his cheek as Mike looked on the verge of tears. "Fucking pathetic." He growled, shoving past the man.

"Excuse me?" Mike snapped—turning around to face him again.

"I said you're fucking pathetic." Rayan repeated, now louder. He inched towards the man with a bag of what appeared to be Chinese takeout held tightly in his hand. "Did you really think you would amount to me?" He chuckled.

Elijah pinched the bridge of his nose—not even bothering to intervene. Rayan was clearly eager to antagonize Michael. "I don't know, I personally think I did a pretty good job keeping your spot warm." He retorted, satisfied with his jab.

"Mike, watch it." Elijah finally warned.

"Right," Rayan smirked, glancing back over at Elijah. "Did you get the man?" He pointed towards his former boyfriend. "Or did you just get a wet ass and hurt feelings?" Mike grew silent and began to shoot daggers at him. He didn't say anything as he continued down the stairs, quietly cursing.

Rayan headed to his door before Elijah called after him, still hanging onto the doorframe. "Ray." He said, his voice just above a whisper.

"Save it." The man shot back, unlocking his door.

"Please. Let's just talk, no yelling or arguing—please." He begged. Rayan turned to face him with an aggravated frown growing on his face—His eyebrows were furrowed as he grew a scowl on his face, similar to the look he'd been giving Mike.

"You have 5 minutes."

~

"Having sex with Mike was a mistake." Elijah averted his gaze to the floor. "It was an accident."

"It was a what?" Ray raised his eyebrow, pushing his plate aside to glare at the man.

"An accident."

"I thought I heard you right." He stood up straight, looking as if the man before him suddenly grew two heads. "You really don't know what to say, do you?"

"It was-"

"How do you fuck someone by accident, Elijah?" He snapped. "How?!"

"It just shouldn't have happened, s'all."

"But it did," Ray began. "And you weren't even going to tell me; I had to find out myself because you were sloppy enough to allow that desperate twink to leave a fucking hickie on your neck!"

"Ray, I was going to tell you! It was hard trying to find the right words or the right time; I was afraid."

"Of what? Of the truth coming out and you finally not being able to play victim for once in your goddamn life?"

"Ray," He warned, nearly flinching at the low blow. That hurt. "That's not fair."

"I think it's quite fair, actually," The man challenged; humor was evident in his tone as he watched Elijah's eyes well his tears. He folded his arms over his chest, scoffing. "You're upset because the cat is out of the bag. You're not as good as you claim to be; Elijah Johnson is not a saint, everyone! His shit actually does stink. Wow!"

"I never pretended to be anything besides myself!"

"Bullshit. You put your attention on trying to fix everyone and solve every problem that wasn't yours because you wanted to deflect. You thought focusing on everyone else's issues would minimize your own," He laughed, now clasping his hands together. "Well, newsflash, it doesn't!"

"I admit I have a lot of issues that I need to work on and it's fair for you to feel that way but c'mon, Ray. My feelings for you are true, my love for you is true."

"I didn't fucking deserve that, Elijah," His voice softened as he glanced at the floor. His throat felt dry as he continued fighting back tears. "I thought we were better than that."

"Sometimes I question why you ever gave me the time of day," Elijah admitted, wiping at his eyes.

"Sometimes I question why I open up to people and give them second chances when all I get back is fucking heartache." Ray admitted. "This was special to me because I really did love you and I still do. I wanted to change for you, Eli."

"This isn't the first, and probably not the last. You wanted me to be there for you when you were only thinking about yourself. I don't know what I did to deserve this feeling," Elijah didn't bother to speak. Instead he took in Rayan's words. "And y'know, sometimes I force it on myself and think man, maybe I'm just not a good enough person, maybe I'm too mean to people or maybe I should try harder when in reality, no matter how nice I am or how good I treat the people around me, I will always be treated like shit in the end." He shook his head. "Maybe going deaf will be the best thing to happen to me. That way I don't have to keep hearing bullshit excuses." As he headed to the door, Elijah caught his wrist and pulled his closer.

"Stay." He pleaded, falling into an embrace. Rayan sniffled before leaning closer to the man's ear, now speaking in a low whisper.

"You fucked up."