Unedited Chapter
Well when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way
Gerard Way’s voice filled my ears as the song played. Funny how I insult the people who tend to listen to sad songs when they are down because to me, they are just pulling themselves down more to rock bottom. But here I am, lying on my bed, sprawled out and blasting My Chemical Romance’s ‘I Don’t Love You’.
When after all this time that you still owe
You're still, a good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can
My eyes fixated on the ceiling of my bedroom. Cracks surfaced at the corner and the light blue colour started to peel bit by bit. It’s time for a fresh new coat. My eyes travelled down to my wooden board that I called ‘My Memory”, hanging above my study table. Scraps of paper were pinned on it and quotes were written on them. I love quotes and I always written them down while scrolling through tumblr. Another corner is just random sticky pads, reminders of what I’m supposed to do so I won’t forget. But the rest of the board is covered with pictures. Pictures of Zayn and I. I looked at every picture pasted until I stopped at one. I stared at it. Zayn giving me a kiss on the cheek, making me close my eyes while taking the picture.
When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"
Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
Is where you oughta stay
A drop of my misery flowed out, leaving a trail on my cheek. Heaving a sigh, I brushed off my cheek and sat up. I grabbed the remote of my speaker and turn it off, making my room suddenly silent. Grabbing my phone, I stood up and head straight to my full-length mirror. Unlocking my phone, a new message pop up with Alex’s name on it. I opened it up and read his message.
Heading to your house in 30 minutes. Bringing the skunk hair along. –Alex
I cracked a smile reading Jack’s nickname. Jenny loves calling him that even though he hates it. I think she just purposely trying to get on his nerves. I shoved my device into my pants and looked at myself in the mirror. I moved a chunk of my hair away from my face. I look at every flaw shown on my face. It’s no wonder I don’t have a boyfriend until now. I’m just plain Jane. I grab the ends of my hair and lift it closer to my eyes. Maybe a change of hair colour? Suddenly a knock on my door broke my thoughts. My mom’s head pop in seconds later. “Sweetie, I’m heading out to the groceries at the end of the street with your dad.” She informed me. I raised one of my eyebrows.
