Living a Lie

Chapter Twenty-five - Kiss and Tell

"Wow, Pinky. Is that…?"

I blushed furiously. "Shut up, you oversized haddock."

Hidan guffawed, and I swear I heard a harsh exhale come from Itachi, which usually meant that the normally stoic Uchiha was disguising his laugh to make people think he was physically incapable of being anything less than badass.

Kisame blinked. "Was it…?" He glanced at the resident Jashinist as he trailed off; he didn't even bother to respond to the haddock jab.

"A couple of them are. The other one's from… the target."

The entire room grew deathly still.

I chanced a look around at their slightly murderous expressions. Kakuzu looked up from the newspaper he had been reading, a tentacle-thingy unraveling from his wrist and looking especially sharp and deadly.

Hidan grew incredibly sulky-looking, glaring at the hickey (the one that wasn't one of his) with an angry intensity I hadn't seen since the night of our botched mission.

Kisame reached for Samehada, which was currently resting against the counter beside him, and his eyes practically shouted his murderous intent.

Itachi, Sharingan activated and spinning agitatedly, merely stared expressionlessly (though I thought it looked like a forced nonchalance) at my neck.

All was silent, until Itachi decided to announce his battle plans with the casual tone of one who was stating his croquet plans for the afternoon.

"I'm going to kill him. And when I come back, Hidan will finally understand how… un-pleasurable pain can truly be."

I gulped, and Hidan started to back his way out of the kitchen slowly, hoping not to attract the attention of the volatile Uchiha.

I decided I should probably do something to calm him down.

"N-now Itachi, I don't think that's entirely necessary. I mean, at least the part about torturing Hidan…"

I heard Hidan and Itachi talking as they passed my closed bedroom door later that afternoon. Seeing as they were probably the most unlikely pair to be striking up casual conversation in this organization, I decided I really needed to hear what they were talking about.

"…believe me. I fucking wanted to beat the shit out of him right then and there, but she gave me this look, y'know, like she didn't think it was worth fighting with the damn bodyguard just to finish the mission."

It was easy to tell which voice belonged to which irate Akatsuki: Hidan had a vocabulary that would put a seasoned sailor to shame. Itachi's voice was much more subdued, and consequently much scarier.

"You should have killed him, regardless of what she was thinking."

"That's what I fucking thought, too. But you know that look she gives you. Denying her is like kicking a fucking puppy."

I had my ear pressed against the wall (grinning all the while because who knew that I was so incredibly influential?), so I heard Itachi's irritated sigh as they ambled past my doorway.

"I want to come with you, when you go after the bastard."

A pause. "Fine. Perhaps your morbid forms of worship will come in handy…"

I sighed. What a bunch of drama queens. It was a hickey! Big deal. It's not like they weren't trying to do the same thing 24/7. I went back to studying up on my medical ninjutsu.

Dinner together that night was lively.

Well, about as lively as a bunch of dead people. Details, details…