Chapter 19 (Moving Out?)

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E L L A

I was sitting in bed, reading a book, when all of a sudden I heard the front door open with a bang.  I looked at the clock on my wall to see that it was 2 in the morning.  But I knew exactly who had opened the door.  Luke. 

I got up and peered out of my door cautiously, looking both ways before I stepped out into the cold and dark hallway.  I was only wearing pajama shorts and a
t-shirt, so I shivered as soon as I left my room.

I looked over the top of the stairs to see Luke pacing and pulling at his hair in frustration.  I saw tears streaming down his face as he kept mumbling something over and over.

I heard a door start to creek open, as I saw a tired Ashton step out into the hallway.

"Ella?" He suddenly asked.  You could instantly see panic spread over his face.

"Here, let's get you back in bed" he mumbled as he guided me back into my room.

After I was tucked into bed, he shut off the light and went back into the hallway, shutting my door behind him.  I heard him walk down the stairs.  I assumed he was going down to get Luke upstairs.

I crept out of my bed quietly and pressed my ear against the door.

"You can't keep doing this mate." I faintly heard Ashton say.

A couple of sobs escaped Luke's lips.  I listened as I felt my heart shatter.  It hurt to see him this way.

"Come on, it's time to go to sleep." Ashton said.

I heard two pairs of footsteps come up the stairs.

I bolted back to my bed and pulled the covers back up, squeezing my eyes shut in case Ashton came in to check on me. 

After about 15 minutes, I finally heard Ashton walking to his room.  When he shut the door, I jumped out of bed and got on my computer. 

I looked through Luke's Instagram, Twitter, and I even went on my phone and checked his snapchat.  I only saw brief pictures or videos of a house party scene.  It was clear that Luke was drinking in all of the pictures.

In one of the videos Arzaylea was grinding on Luke.  I had to turn the video off immediately.  For some reason it upset me.

I shut the laptop and got back into bed.  Soon enough I had drifted to sleep.

L U K E

Shot after shot after shot.  I had this idea in my head that the alcohol would make me happy.  It relieves me of all the stress going on.

I'm 100% positive that I'm drunk.  Arzaylea's been all over me for the entire night.  It's fine though.  As long as I'm pretending to be happy, I can pretend I like her too.

I insisted on driving myself home.  Even though I knew it was dangerous, so what? I don't have much to live for anyways.  All I do is get drunk and mess up.  Ashton see's it.  Hell, everybody see's it.

When I came home, all Ashton could do was lecture me about drunk driving.  Then he made me go upstairs to go to bed.  But I knew I wasn't going to sleep that night. 

There were too many things crowding my brain.  It would be nearly impossible to sleep. 

I have no excuse to act the way I do.  I'm just a loser who messes everything up.

And I'm not sure that will ever change.

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E L L A

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