Never Again

Wisps of Perfection (33)

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Over the next few days, I exert all my effort and time into training. Blaze and I talk as little as possible. A part of me thinks it's a good thing that we have been so disconnected, because I can be more focused on getting stronger. Another, larger part of me feels empty knowing that I basically ruined the friendly relationship Blaze and I previously shared.

Right now, I have four days left. Today, tomorrow, the next day, the day after that, and then I'm leaving for a week. After that week, if all goes to plan, I'll be back here with all my friends and Trace. I just have to take the next few days to prepare.

Along with physical activities, a couple days ago, Rissa sat me down to explain that we had to work on my story. We decided yesterday that I will claim to have been captured, the Resistance tried to get information out of me, but I wouldn't budge, which is why they are giving me back. I also will have to explain the process I have undergone in as much detail as possible, so Rissa and I will be working on and perfecting the story until I leave.

Meanwhile, I have practice with Blaze in a few minutes, and I was late for breakfast, so I'm currently shoving food down my throat. Not attractive. I can feel the stares of people watching me. It seems people are afraid to come talk to me. I guess I'm intimidating? Either way, I catch people's eyes wherever I go, just for being Olympia Lance. It's weird.

Finishing up the last bit of my toast, I rush to throw my trash away and head out the door, chewing the last bit of food in my mouth.

I make it there just in time, thankfully. Three days ago I had been a mere few minutes late and Blaze was annoyed with me because he thought I didn't care. When I claimed that, of course I care, I'm putting all my effort into this to get Trace here, he just became more upset and angry. At least he had talked to me.

"You were almost late," He mumbles, staring at his hand that he is wrapping some kind of gauze around. I bite my lip and shut the door behind me, "Almost, being the key word." I can't see his face, but I can imagine him rolling his eyes right now.

"Whatever, let's just start," He stands up and strolls across the room, to where the gun station is at. I sigh- he's been this frustrating for days- and walk over to where he's standing.

"When are you going to get out of this mood?" I ask with an obviously large amount of exasperation in my tone.

"It's not a mood, Lance," He murmurs, not looking me in the eye.

"Look, we should talk. I don't know why you've been acting so weird lately but if you could just tell me-"

"I'm fine! Don't you see, I'm just fine. Nothing special. Stop asking, you know you don't think I'm worth it anyways," He snaps bitterly. Taken aback, all I can say is- "Blaze?"

"What? What is it? You know why I'm like this. You just don't want to deal with it cause I'm. Not. Effing. Worth it."

I don't know what to say. He's partially right- I do know why he's asking like this, and I don't actually want to deal with it. It would be so much easier for him to just get over it and move on. But I don't think he's worthless and I do want him to feel better.

"You know that's not true-"

"Yeah, but do you?"

"You know what?" I snap, "If you hate me so much, I'll just leave. Maybe Janelle will train with me." I start to walk away, when Blaze grabs my arm from behind. I don't turn around. I just wait for him to speak.

"I- I don't hate you. You know that," He says, his voice suddenly softer. He says it wish uncertainty, like he's hoping it's true.

"It sure feels like it," I wrench my arm out of his grip, but instead of walking away I turn around, facing him.