Dusk to Dawn -- Book Three: Air

Chapter Six

Enjoy my loves :)
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            My body was cold, though the night air was warm. Standing on my balcony, I watched the clouds cover the colorful night sky, hiding the stars and moons. Tilting my head to the side, placing my chin on hand, I watched as constellations appeared and disappeared behind the soft, white fluffy clouds in the sky. Above me, navy, violet, purple, and white littered the sky, swirling in different patterns, clusters of stars shinning, while others seemed to twinkle and wink down at me.

              For the first time in the past two days, I had a smile on my face.

              The castle was overly enthusiastic with the return of the guardsmen, but I had still found myself keeping to myself in my chambers. My nose seemed to be permanently stuck in the scrolls and books, making the changes that I knew were needed, papers to sign as families were moved around the city. Parchment after parchment, I sat in my chambers, writing replies to letters that held little to no concern, but found myself looking for every excuse to keep away. I had buried my nose into the arrangements for the wedding, along with keeping track of the visits that Regina would make in an hour. She seemed worried about me, and I couldn't find myself to blame her.

              This mood that I was in, it concerned me, and everyone else around me. I didn't seem to have a reflection that smiled anymore, there wasn't a bounce in my step as it once had been, and I found myself refusing to come to supper, not wanting to see any faces that might cause me to second guess myself. Father and Mother had been persistent in telling me that this marriage could be avoided, that with all the men that we had in the guard now, our home would be safe. Yet, I knew that just wasn't the case.

           My robes moves around me in the night air, my hair brushed out into rolling waves, the evening gown that I wore to sleep covering my body, along with my silken robes that Father had given me this past cycle.

          Yet, though I had prepared myself to sleep, my mind was restless. I couldn't find the warmth in the bed, fear striking me the moment my eyes closed, afraid that the nightmare would return. My face was pale, my hands shaking, and I couldn't seem to walk properly. Everything that I had learned in my lifetime, it all seemed to have flown out into the night air, leaving me a shell of a woman. I couldn't keep my head high, I was afraid to leave my chambers, afraid to sleep. He had done this to me. No, I had done this evil to myself.

             I couldn't blame Skyrin for doing what he thought was right, because it would hypocritical of me. I was marrying a man that was of a foreign country, only because I wished to have his army for protection. I was a coward, afraid to take a step outside of the palace, fearful that fire would once again rain down from the sky.

               I found myself walking towards the middle of my chambers, seeing my brush on the small table between the couches. Looking down at the wooden handle, I could see the dragon that was made of melted gold, shinning in the dim light, wrapping itself around the handle. Part of me wished to have the strength that it held, it's grip so tight, to remove it from the brush, it would break it. I wished for that strength, prayed for that strength.

                 My body sat on the couch, and I tucked my knees up close to me, allowing my chin to rest on them. The flames in the fireplace licked the logs, the bark as black as smoke, the ambers glowing a soft red that reminded me of the lava that came from the Great Mountains during the spring. Slowly, I found myself watching the flames lick and dance across the burning wood. It was like watching a lover dance in the moon light, elegant and placing a trance on you. A smile crawled on my face as the flames seemed to take form, physical form, two beings -a man and woman- intertwined as they moved gracefully around in soft circles. My smile grew as I could see the smile on their faces, looking so familiar yet strange.