All We Are

Thirty One

*****

"Cold bones, yeah, that's my love. She hides away like a ghost. Does she know that we bleed the same? Don't wanna cry but I break that way. Cold sheets, but where's my love? I am searching high, I'm searching low in the night. Does she know that we bleed the same? Don't wanna cry but I break that way. Did she run away? Did she run away? I don't know. If she ran away, if she ran away, come back home. Just come home."- Where's My Love, by SYML

*****

James

"Take care James." Sarah said with her arms clasped around me.

"I should be saying that to you." I muttered to her.

When she let go of me, she paused to stare at me. A stare that I had grown to be quite familiar with in the past two weeks. Everyday I'd catch Sarah staring at me, watching out for me. Everyday it was the same look, one that was full of worry and sorrow.

I knew that all around me my friends were watching me, making sure that I wasn't slipping back into old habits. They had all witnessed me when Rose first left, but this time they were all going to ensure that I didn't slip back into those habits.

Sarah continued to stare at me sympathetically. "James, she'll come back. She just needs time."

I bit my lip and nodded, I didn't want to be rude to Sarah right now, not when she was going off to a different state, with my cousin, for cancer treatment.

Sarah gave me the stare, and the she clasped her hands on both sides of my face. "James I'm serious, she will come back to you, just wait for her."

Once more I nodded. Then Nate came to say his goodbye.

It was the day after junior graduation. We were now seniors, and if I was being honest, I didn't give a shit. Everyone had taken the week of school after Blake's death off. When we got back to school nothing was the same, we didn't have Rose, and we didn't have Blake, we walked around with this stupid cloud of sorrow above us all, especially me. Everyone treated us the same, but of course they knew what we had all been through.

The last day of school was a complete waste of time. We all gathered in the gym and we did the usual ceremony, and then the year was done. Without Rose I was just pissed off. I had so much anger in me now. I thought about her constantly, but I refused to try to contact her. Sarah was right, even though I hated to admit it. The only thing that I could do was give Rose time.

Another reason why the last day of school sucked, was because we all knew that the next day, we'd be losing two more of our friends. Sarah couldn't postpone treatment any longer in fear that it could get worse.

I think if she could've had it her way, she would have stayed the summer, and then gone, but Nate convinced her otherwise.

I had to admit I was envious of Nate. He got the girl of his dreams, and he was never letting her go. I didn't get that choice, Rose chose to let me go.

"Hey man," Nate said hugging me.

"Are you guys all packed?" I asked lamely.

Nate nodded. "Yep."

We stood in front of each other silently, and awkwardly.

"Promise me you'll take care of yourself." Nate spoke cleary. "Promise me that you won't get yourself hurt, or anyone else for that matter. And promise me that you won't give up on Rose."

I gave him a blank stare.

"James, I'm serious. She'll come back. She loves you. You just have to wait." Nate assured me.