THE UNLOVED WIFE

29. SIGNED

Bismilah.

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29. Signed

Zai's POV

I parked my car and turned off the ignition. I couldn't bring myself to step out of the car. I looked at Amir's Building and visualize ZJ talking with my husband. I found my heart aching for the possibility that he might realize he still loves her. Or worse, that ZJ wants him now.

La hawla wa la quwwata ila billah.

I was about to open the door when the other door opened and Aaron got inside.

"Wha- what are you doing here?" I asked him.

My heart was beating nervously. He looked so worried as he met my gaze. Oh crap, he's not lowering his gaze. I turned away and looked at the other direction.

"Don't go to him," he said in a serious tone.

I felt his gaze piercing at me though I wasn't looking. What did he say? That I shouldn't go to my husband. He's at it again, acting like a crazy obsessed lunatic. I gathered all the guts I had, said astaghfirullah on my mind before talking back to the man who just made my last week one hell of a mental challenge.

"Aaron, in the name of Allah, please stay away from me. And stop interfering in my marital affairs. I know in the past, you tried to help me fix things with him. I am grateful for that but what you did to me.."

"You mean when I kissed you and you let me?" he said, interrupting me.

I found myself red in the face, both of embarrassment and anger.

"Yes when you did that sinful shameful act and you knew very well that Allah was watching you!" I yelled at him.

This time, it was him who looked away.

"I'm.... I'm sorry," he uttered.

"You should be. Because I've been asking for repentance to Allah every second since you did that to me! So do me a favor, if you really do love me, let me be," I told him.

I was about to step outside my car but to my surprise, he pulled the car door and locked it.

"If you go up there, you're only going to hurt yourself. And it's okay for me if that kiss meant nothing to you, if I mean nothing to you but I cannot let you hurt yourself," he explained.

I shook my head as I struggled to find the words on what to say to Aaron just for him to understand that it is none of his business whatever I chose to do or not.

"You're not the only one who seeks Allah's repentance because of that kiss. I read in a hadith how one man asked the Rasulullah (s.a.w) on what he can do for Allah to forgive him since he committed a sin by kissing a girl. The Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) after receiving revelation called upon the man again after the said man prayed his fardh salah. He told him he was forgiven already. That a good deed can eliminate a bad deed."

I knew of that hadith. It comforted me. Aaron leaned on his back on the car seat and closed his eyes as if contemplating. I couldn't help but stare at him. I thought the kiss meant something back then. But I realized that I only wanted Aaron because I was afraid to be unloved. However, I love my husband so so much. I love Amir in such a way that he means everything to me. My world revolves around him and I wouldn't have it any other way.