transcending // anthony kiedis

32.

I flipped the test over and saw a pretty bold pink plus sign. I was pregnant. I immediately began to cry tears of joy. I was so fucking happy that I couldn't hold back my tears.

"I'm pregnant!" I screamed from the bathroom stall. Chloe roughly opened the door and hugged me tightly.

"Oh my goodness congratulations! You've got to tell Nat and Anthony and the boys." she said.

Oh god. Anthony. I was more nervous telling Anthony than Nat. I was just afraid of what he'd think. Would he be upset with me for not being careful? I knew he loved me but I just wasn't sure of his reaction. A huge part of me felt like the universe was giving me a second chance at motherhood. Maybe I was being silly by thinking that, but I couldn't help it. I always truly believed that everything happened for a reason, and this moment definitely wasn't any different from that belief or notion.

"I'll tell them, I promise." I attempted to smile. My sudden excitement immediately went away because I started to become stressed and worried about everyone's reaction. What would they think of this? I understood I was young, but I don't think that my pregnancy at a young age should define me. I mean, I had been through a lot worse. 

After we celebrated, Chloe took me home. It was about to be 9PM and Anthony still wasn't home. Oh well. I showered quickly, stared at my stomach longer than I should have, and changed into my pajama's and got ready for bed. I drifted off into sleep immediately, dreaming of a life with my child.

–

the next morning:

I woke up to an empty bed and dark room. I looked over and saw a note on Anthony's pillow. It read:

My love, I hope you slept soundly. I've missed you. I'm sorry I wasn't there to be with you yesterday or this morning. I got caught up in something. Get dressed and meet me down the street at our favorite coffee spot around 3PM.

Love, Anthony

He had only been gone for a day but I already missed him tons. I hated not waking up next to him. I looked over at the clock and it read 1:34PM. Holy shit, I didn't realize I slept for so long. I felt something come up inside of me and I ran to the restroom to throw up. I had to tell Anthony soon about my news. Hiding this would only make things worse, plus, I don't think I could make excuses for my excessive nausea. I showered quickly and got dressed. I decided on wearing a cute floral summer dress with my nude sandals. I wore my hair down and also wore very simple makeup with a pretty pink lipstick. I grabbed my things and ran out the door. I walked to the coffee shop and before I opened the door to go inside I felt someone hug me from behind. I loved Anthony's touch so much. 

"Hi" I said turning around and kissing him. 

"I've missed you so much," he said, returning the kiss.

"Where have you been hiding?" I asked, jokingly. 

"Oh nothing, just band stuff. Let me take you for lunch." he said, grabbing my hand and leading the way.

We proceeded to enjoy a nice lunch outside and the entire time I was waiting for the right moment to tell Anthony my news. I just didn't know how to formulate my words or how to even say it. Should I just come out straight and say Oh, I'm pregnant. Or maybe something like Oops, I'm pregnant. I forgot to take my pills. Ugh, I was beginning to stress. I think Anthony sensed something was on my mind and he asked me what was wrong. Before I could even think about answering, his phone went off. He must've received a text or something.

"Love, I have to make a stop somewhere before we return home. Is that okay with you? It'll be quick." he said.

"Of course," I said. My mind was seriously everywhere, doing backflips and causing me to overthink severely. 

We both got up from our seats and began walking up the street. Where did he need to go? After walking for a while, he stopped in front of a dark shop. It was about the size of a movie theater. 

"It's in here," he said, pulling me along with him. 

What were we doing here? We proceeded to walk more into the place; I couldn't make anything out because it was dark. It almost felt abandoned. We walked more towards the center and I felt the lights jolt on and a million screams and cheers. "SURPRISE!" was all I heard from many different voices all around me. Oh my god. I became utterly flushed by seeing so many people. I looked around the place and saw all of my paintings hanging up on the walls. They looked so beautiful the way they were placed. I turned to Anthony and I wanted to cry tears of happiness. 

"Did you do this?" I asked, squeezing his hand. 

"That's why I was gone for an eternity. I didn't want you to doubt your abilities, so I decided to show you how talented you really are," he said. 

This was the best thing anyone had ever done for me. I was then congratulated and hugged by Flea, Josh, Chad and Nat. "Did you guys know about this?" I asked, teasing them. "Of course we did!" they laughed. I was very, very happy in this moment.

As we were celebrating, Nat went to go get me a drink and brought me a glass of wine. I kindly declined his offer, causing Josh and Nat to become slightly confused. 

"You're turning down wine?" Josh asked, truly sounding concerned. 

"Just not in the mood," I assured them, along with putting on a very obvious smile that basically stated that I was hiding something. I seriously was shitty with hiding things.

I felt Chloe take my hand and she led me to the other side of the room in the corner. "Have you told Anthony?" she asked. 

"No, I haven't. I was going to, but then Anthony took me here and now I just don't know how to break the news. I don't want to ruin the moment," I said, worriedly. 

"Honey, you won't ruin the moment. This is great news. If anything, Anthony should be excited about this! Don't worry about Nat or the guys right now. You should tell Anthony soon," she said. She was right. I immediately made the decision that I was going to tell him right now.

I went up to Anthony and whispered in his ear that I needed to talk to him in private. We went outside on a patio that was covered with beautiful lights  I could tell he really did plan this out for me, and I loved everything. "What's up, love?" he asked, kissing my cheek. I was so fucking nervous. 

"Anthony, uhm. I really hope you won't be mad." I tried stalling.

"I'd never be mad. What's on your mind?" he genuinely was concerned. God this was just so difficult. I was truly scared that this would be an exact replica of how I broke the news to Eric. I didn't want Anthony to slip away from me.

"I'm pregnant." I said finally after what seemed like minutes, looking down at the floor and biting my nails. I just couldn't look at Anthony. 

A part of me expected Anthony to be at least somewhat excited or anything but mad or angry or upset. I looked at his face and he was completely speechless. I couldn't tell if he was upset, but his silence and blank facial expression immediately took place of any type of reaction/answer. The only type of movement or interaction he had made was put his fallen hair behind his ears, and I heard him let out a deep sigh. He remained silent for too long, giving me exactly how he felt about the news. I felt so fucking embarrassed just springing news like this on him. I could feel my eyes begin to water and before they came spilling out along my cheeks like rainfall, I rushed back inside leaving Anthony alone on the patio. I ran out of the gallery wanting to go anywhere but here. His exact reaction was the very same as Eric's when he found out I was pregnant with Jane. I felt myself want to fall to the ground and cry, but I refused to appear this way in front of anyone. So I held back my tears and caught myself a cab. I had no idea where I'd even go, but I just didn't want to be here anymore.