transcending // anthony kiedis

3.

(August 4th) It's my older sister's birthday. I miss her coming into my bedroom everyday and brushing my hair. I miss her telling me about her day. I miss talking about boys with her. I miss her so much.

I arrived at Venice Beach not too long ago. I've made my way to a diner not too far from the station. I've been here for about an hour, waiting to figure out what I should do next. My plan is to fall asleep on the beach. I think watching the waves in the night would do so much for me. Forgetting about all of the problems that I had was something I needed. I didn't want to think about my morning sickness or unusual tenderness. I also didn't want to think about how alone I felt.

I finished my cup of coffee and left a couple of dollars on the table and made my way out the door. I walked to the shore and sat down. I felt myself fall back and I relaxed my body and let it touch the sand. I closed my eyes and buried my toes into the pale white sand. I let it cover me, as I felt the soft cool specs of dust gather along my body as the wind blew. At this very moment, I felt so free. I felt myself drift off into a deep sleep.

I woke up in such a daze. My clothes were covered in sand and my stomach was growling. I needed food. I needed water, too. It was late. I had fallen asleep on the beach just as it was becoming sunset. I woke up to a pitch black darkness, filled with the overbearing sound of the waves crashing into the shore. I had to find something to eat. I didn't have much money, but I needed to find a place to gather my thoughts and truly figure out a plan of action. I walked along the sidewalks and found the nearest coffee shop located right across Venice Beach. I could tell people were looking at with me with confused faces. My appearance was definitely throwing them off. I looked a fucking mess, and my tiny baby bump didn't help whatsoever. I ordered myself a coffee and sat down at the nearest table. I didn't even know what time it was. I looked around for a nearby wall clock and discovered it was a bit past 8:00 PM. I didn't know I had slept for so long. Coffee probably wasn't the best choice to consume at this time of day, but I didn't know if I was going to be up all night purposely, or if I'd even have somewhere else to stay or be. I really needed to eat something. I could tell I looked so unhealthy, but I just didn't know what to do. I was starting to feel like my California getaway was a mistake. This was a feeling I never wanted to feel.

When the barista called my name to inform me my coffee was ready, I walked right up to the counter to grab the cup. Once I grabbed it, I turned around and I felt someone slam into my body, causing the cup of coffee to spill on his pants. I started to freak out, and I ran to grab some napkins and smothered him so he wouldn't suffer any serious burns. I almost wanted to laugh because the entire interaction happened so fast, but I kept my mouth shut because I did just accidentally spill hot coffee on another person. They probably won't find this funny. Once I wiped up his spill, I felt him grab my hand gently to inform me that he didn't need any more unnecessary napkins and I heard him say "This was my fault, please don't feel bad,". I looked up at him and saw the most precious smile. I blushed way too much and I couldn't even manage to say anything. He threw away the soiled napkins and coffee cup and informed me he'd grab us some more coffee. I sat down and killed myself internally because I was so embarrassed at the first impression I had just made. Spilling coffee on someone I don't even know in an entirely foreign country isn't something I wanted to do. Once he grabbed the new coffees, he came to sit at the table with me. He sat across from me, and shyly introduced himself as Nat. Nat was very tall and slim, with shaggy brown hair. His skin reminded me of the color ivory, and he had the bluest eyes I had ever seen. Honestly, he was a very attractive guy. I had told him my name was Sara as I quietly took a sip of coffee. As much as I want to tell you that this entire interaction would end up being awkward and stupid, it wasn't. After we introduced ourselves, I became a chatter box. I told Nat I was originally from Houston and that I came to Venice Beach to getaway from my home life and find something new. He told me that he comes to Venice Beach frequently, but actually lives in Los Angeles. I liked talking to Nat. He was a musician and a free-lance writer. He had written screenplays and many songs for films in LA. He was a very sweet individual who didn't mind my messy appearance. Talking to him was comforting. I think he may have noticed how unhealthy and starving I looked, so he ordered me a croissant sandwich. I would be forever grateful to Nat for allowing himself to comfortable speak to a complete lost stranger in the midst of the beauty of Venice Beach.

Me and Nat spoke for hours. The coffee shop closed at midnight, so we were forced to drink up our coffees and leave. I had a feeling I'd never see Nat again, and I was incredibly thankful for the small acts of kindness he did for me. Just as I was about ready to turn the other way and walk toward my temporary home, the beach, Nat asked me if I'd like to stay with him. I really wasn't sure if he was inquiring about sex because he really didn't seem like that type of guy. But then again, I was never really sure about anything. I had been fucked over plenty of times, so I never really knew what to expect about people. I wanted so badly to decline his offer because I wasn't sure what would happen, but I didn't trust myself staying overnight at the beach by myself. I reluctantly accepted his offer, and he caught us a cab. I was completely terrified. Nat didn't seem like the type of guy to fuck me and throw me out on the streets after, but I was so unsure about everyone I met nowadays.

The ride to Nat's house was a silent one. Not an uncomfortable one, a reassuring one. Once we arrived, I noticed we were still in Venice. The cab pulled up in front of a beautiful two story yellow beach house. I wouldn't have thought this was a beach house, because it looked like a standard home that would appear back home in Houston. I was so in love. Nat opened the door for me and led me into his home. Everything was exciting. It was such a a calm atmosphere all around. He showed me each and every room and gave me a change of clothes and pointed to where the shower was. I'm not exactly sure why Nat was nice enough to take me into his home and allow me to cleanse myself and sleep with a full tummy. Maybe he took pity on me. Who knows. All I know was that I was so thankful for meeting him at a time like this in my life. I showered, changed into some boxers and a big button down shirt, and crawled into bed. Once my head hit the pillow, I instantly drifted off into a deep sleep. I was so comfortable, and for the first time since I left home, I felt safe. Maybe I wasn't making a mistake. Maybe I was meant to meet Nat. I'm not exactly sure, but I know that I finally felt at peace with myself.