Emison: How About Forever?

'You Can Let Go'

Emily's POV

Alison was getting no better. She wasn't getting stronger. She was lifeless. I just wanted her to open her eyes and say that it was all just a prank. I'd do anything to swap places with her, we've gone through so much for this to be the end. The girls came to visit but I was that spaced out I couldn't even hear them when they were talking to me. My only concern was Alison. She couldn't give up, not on me or the kids. But it wasn't fair on her, it's selfish of me to make her stay when she's clearly in a lot of pain.

The doctors and nurses ran out and said that it was up to me what happens next. We can keep fighting or we can turn the plugs off. I screamed and cried into the girls' jackets. I WANT THIS TO BE OVER.

I was sat with Alison when Jason came in.

"You don't mind if I see her do you?"

"Of course. I'll go wait outside."

"Emily it's fine. You can stay"

I sat back down as Jason took Alison's hand. I could feel myself about to cry. Jason stared at her for a good minute before stepping up to kiss her head. He finally found a way to open his mouth to talk to her.

"I've been trying to think about what your kids would want me to say. We don't want you to miss a second of them growing up. I remember the day that you gave birth and Emily gave up everything to be able to provide for you both. She gave up her job of being a swim coach. Did you know that? I never liked it when she coached people, she was way too bossy and thought she was better than the rest of us haha. But I knew how important that job was to her, so I asked her 'why are you quitting?' and she said 'you make sacrifices for your kids and the one you love'. She quit to be here every step of the way. She wanted to give you more. She sold a lot of her things to be able to give you all a home. Sacrifice. That's what we do for the ones we love. Here's mine Alison. I want you to live. I want that more than anything in this world. I want you to fight like hell to stay with us. It might be too hard to keep fighting. We'll be okay Alison. I'll be here for support to Emily and the girls"

I completely lost it and had to leave before falling to the floor in tears. I had such a big decision to make.

After hours of deciding. I went to see Alison and talk to her.

"Hey you. You still look beautiful even when you haven't had chance to freshen up. You always looked beautiful after a rough night where you didn't sleep"

I took her hand and kept it close to my lips to keep kissing it.

"I remember everything. The first time I ever laid eyes on you, the first words we ever said to each other, the day that I kissed you in the library, the horrible rejection, finding out they'd found your body, then finding out you were alive and wanted me, the break ups, the surprise dance, prom, the road trips, the talks, the greatest day of my life... The wedding and the honeymoon. I remember everything and you better never forget them. I never will. You made me feel a thousand things all at once, only you could. I loved the way you'd get so jealous because it showed you cared so deeply for me. I'd do anything to be in your shoes right now instead of you. You don't deserve this! We planned everything, we're supposed to be forever Alison. I've prayed so many times that you'd wake up and you'd laugh in my face and say 'stop stressing it's only a prank'. I'd hate you for it but I'd love you to do that. This is killing me and I know you're hurting too. I want you to wake up so we can have a new life away from this place, with our kids and just me and you. I can imagine it now, living somewhere on a beach and watching you with the kids from the window, your hair blowing in the wind and looking back at me smiling. God please wake up Alison. No, I'm being so selfish. Jason told you how I sacrificed everything for our family and I'd do it all again. I agree with him when he said that he wanted you to fight. I want you to fight this until the end, I want you to live more than anything. Alison?  If you wan't to go, I want you to know it's okay. It's okay, you can let go. I understand, we'll be okay, we'll be okay".

And just like that the beeps went dead and I knew that I'd just lost the best thing that ever happened to me.
The girls decided to walk me home. As I approached her house I just lost it. I began to scream on Spencer who then started crying. I lost my world.

As I got home I realised it was time to tell our children. I had to be honest with them.

"Wayne? Jessica? Can you come outside please?" I asked them. They both came running down and hugged me.

"Where's mom? She's okay isn't she?!" Wayne asked. I could feel the tears about to fall. I instructed them to sit down

"She had to go"

"Go where?" Jessica asked.

"You know heaven? She's gone there. She's going to be waiting for us there" The tears rolled down my face.

"So it's just us now?" Wayne asked.

"Yeah" I silently let out.

"Why can't be she be here? When will we see her again?" Wayne asked again.

"I guess God needed her. He always takes the most beautiful people first. He must've needed her more than us. But just because she's gone, it didn't mean that she never loved you. She loved you more than anything, you should've seen her face when she gave birth to both of you. She was more happier seeing you two than our wedding day. We'll see her whenever God's ready to take us. She's always there in our hearts, we have to keep her there. You have to both promise me something okay?"

They both replied saying "what?"

"She wouldn't want us to be sad. We have to be strong"

"But I miss her' Jessica started to cry and it make me cry even more.

"I miss her too, so much. She'd be sat here waiting for me to come home, she'd wrap her arms around me and then you guys would come over to me and make me pick you up about 10 times. She'd kiss your foreheads and we'd have our dinner altogether. She'd continuously smile throughout the night. Her favourite part of the day was evenings we'd get to spend together as a family. Right now we'd have a film on and she'd laugh at me for cooking the popcorn a little too much so it burned. She'd never let there be a dull moment" I replied in between breaths.

Wayne started to cry. I hugged them both.

"If you ever feel sad or miss her. Come to me and I'll take you to places that we'd be. I promise you that you'll feel her presence. I feel it now. She's okay, she's at peace"

"But we're not at peace" Wayne replied.

"Someday we will. Someday"

"When we all reunite is when I'll be at peace" Jessica replied.

"Me too. We have to stick together okay? Always remember how much she loved you. Never forget how much I love you either okay?" They both nodded and I kissed their foreheads just like Ali would do to me.

"It's okay. She's by my side" I kept repeating to myself. I cooked Alison's favourite meal. I even placed a knife and fork where she would be sat.

"She'll be home soon"