once, still & forever | a Matty Healy story

I'm Here, Babe - Chapter 89

I was stood outside, giving myself another pep talk as I watched all of the people excitedly walk in and out, talking loudly about what it was like to meet the boys. 

I was trying my best to keep out of sight, I didn't want anyone to recognise me before I plucked up enough courage to go in there, before I got to see him and tell him exactly how I felt. 

"He seemed a little... weird right?" I overhear a girl say to her friend as they leave, her eyebrows furrowed as she stares in wonder, all while I run my hand through my wavy hair, biting my bottom lip in a hope to calm my nerves. 

"I thought so, lost almost," she agreed, nodding as I move closer to listen more, my interest getting the better of me as my nimble fingers pull on the cuffs of my denim jacket.

"I just hope Matty is okay," I hear one of them mumble sadly as I freeze.

My heart jumps in my chest as I watch them both slowly leave, my hand instantly lifting to clutch my chest as I take in another deep breath, trying with my all to calm my breathing.

Turning and without a second thought I walk through the door, my eyes adjusting to the beautiful set up as I look around to see the boys art work placed along the pastel pink walls, their florescent signs lighting up the whole room to create a warm pink glow among everyone.

I suddenly felt so much happiness, my heart swelling with pride as this room held all of the beautiful work that my boys have worked so hard on, it was amazing to see. 

Snapping out of my thoughts I move to walk forward, my legs feeling like jelly as I make my way further into the room.

My eyes dart around, soon finding Ross in the corner of the room, him talking to a group of people with a broad smile on his handsome face and I instantly smile in reaction. 

Gazing around more, it wasn't hard to then find George at the back, his tall figure easy to spot as he was pointing and explaining one of the photographs on the wall to a couple who were smiling up at him eagerly.

Adam was also occupied, a shy smile on his face as my heart warmed at the sight of him, at the sight of all of them in their element. 

I turn and wander to the opposite side of the room, my mind wandering as I walk around a group of people, looking up to immediately spot him, my heart dropping and breathing increasing as my chest moves up and down with my nervous breaths. 

He was stood there, a small forced smile on his face as he simply listened to the girls that spoke to him, his arms crossed, almost sternly, and I could tell by his posture that he wasn't being very welcoming.

I gaze at his appearance, and the more I look and take him in the more emotional I felt, the more I wanted to just be with him, to tell him my thoughts and how I feel about him. 

Slowly walking closer to the group, I keep myself hidden behind other people, trying to listen to their conversation as I run my hand through my hair once again. 

"That's exactly what I thought, that I would never meet someone that was right for me," a girl with long dirty blonde hair confesses, her eyes bright and her voice clear as I manage to be in the view of Matty, his face seeming bored and uninterested. 

"We all think that, but then we eventually do," another girl responds brightly, her smile wide as she flips her vibrant red hair over her shoulder, her eyes taking in Matty as he continues to look off in the distance. 

"You've finally found the one now, haven't you Matty?" someone who I couldn't see spoke, her voice almost teasing and excited as he looks over at her, his eyebrows raising as if he didn't quite hear what she had said. 

"We love you both together by the way, you're such a cute couple!" the blonde gushes, and for some reason what they were saying was making me even more nervous. 

"People have given you and Sophia ship names and everything," the redhead giggles as the rest join in and for a split moment I see a small smile appearing on Matty's face, it disappearing as quick as it appeared. 

My heart thuds violently against my chest, my name being mentioned triggering me even more and I felt like my head was about to explode, but that still didn't stop me from edging even closer, their voices being clearer as I wanted more than anything to hear and eavesdrop on their conversation.

"Is she coming to see you on tour?" someone asks as I bite my lip, trying to steady my breathing as I stay hidden behind a tall man who was looking through their vinyls, but I was still able to see Matty, who's eyebrows were now furrowed, his arms still crossed as he looks over to the girl who asked him the question in wonder.

"I... I don't know," he finally speaks, his voice hoarse and my body aches to run over and hold him, to grab him and express just how much I adore him.

"She will for sure, after all she does write about you on her blog all the time," the blonde says optimistically as I automatically think about all of my blog posts, all of them expressing the love I have for him, and I wonder if he's been reading any of them.

"Sophia should definitely come see you, she can't miss seeing all of this," another voice states as I continue to stare at Matty, his chest heaving with a sigh as he closes his eyes momentarily, before opening them to look at them sadly. 

I walk further, just a person away as I gaze at him running a hand through his wild curls, his eyes glossy as he bites his lip, then letting it go before speaking.

"You know what..." he trails off, looking down in wonder as I twist the ends of my hair nervously, realising that I was going to have to make an entrance at some point, at any point now before he eventually sees me. 

"There is nothing that I would love more than that," he admits, his voice tired and needing, making my heart ache for him even more as I frown, my eyes sore from the frustration I was feeling.

"I would love to be able to look across the room to see her standing there," he continues, the girls following with coos and sweet nothings as he continues to stare at them with a pained expression across his beautiful face. 

"I can't explain how good that would feel to see her in front of me," Matty says lowly, and I knew that it was now or never that I would be able to make myself known, and for some reason it felt like the perfect timing as I stepped closer, my jelly legs bringing me just in front of the group as I spoke.

"I am, I'm here babe."