once, still & forever | a Matty Healy story

Heart Out - Chapter 42

It was the next day, and I still hadn't heard a single word from Matty, and it was completely breaking my heart. All I wanted was to hear from him, but not hearing from him didn't give me any hope for us as a couple. I felt almost as if he had given up, and this was it for us. 

"What an absolute bellend" Emily hissed down the phone to me, just after I told her everything that had happened. I was currently laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling in Jesse's spare room, not knowing what to do with myself, completely craving Matty, physically and emotionally. 

"I know right" I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

"The guys had a show tonight too, but I didn't want to go and see him there" I whined out as I spoke, sighing as I then sat up, grabbing my wine glass from the bedside table, wanting it to cure me from this need that I had for him. 

"Did Jesse go to the show?" Emily asked as I took a mouthful of wine, leaning back against the headboard of my bed, staring down at my bare legs as I crossed them.

"Nope, he's away somewhere. Told me he wouldn't be back at all tonight" I laughed, remembering the conversation I had with him earlier about a girl he was going to see.

"Do you think Jesse likes you?" she then asked, making my eyebrows furrow as I took another sip, welcoming the taste that surrounded my tongue.

"Nope" I spoke bluntly, "We are both very close, but nothing more than that" I explained, as I then got up to walk across the room, looking out the window to the garden, then noticing the hot tub.

"I think I'm going to get in the hot tub" I thought out loud, more to myself which earned a laugh from Emily through the phone.

"You need to go do that, you need to go and relax" she spoke, making me smile as I went to the other side of the room in search of my bikini.

"You spilt your heart out to the boy you love, I think that you deserve to soak up in a hot tub and have a lot of wine" she continued with a laugh as I began shuffling my shorts off.

"I'm going to do exactly that, thank you Ems. I love you!" I spoke with a smile, kicking my shorts away.

"Love you too!" I heard her shout before I hung up, throwing my phone on my bed before completely stripping off and changing into my white bikini. 

Walking downstairs, I started up the hot tub as I refilled my wine glass, the bottle of wine now set on the side waiting for me as I set my phone down next to it. 

Stepping in and sitting down, I let out a sigh of relief as the warm water surrounded me, hoping that it would help destress me. 

I sat there for ages, enjoying how peaceful it was and how the water felt. I took another generous sip of wine as I saw my phone light up. Reaching over to dry my hands, I picked it up, my whole stomach dropping when I saw Matty flashing across my screen.

"Hello?" I spoke, my voice low as I answered, nervous as I waited for him to speak.

"I'm outside. Will you let me in?" he said on the other end, my heart leaping and my eyes widening as I looked at the door to the house in shock.

"Okay" I mumbled, hanging up and placing my phone back on the side before slowly stepping out of the hot tub. I didn't even grab a towel as I walked towards the house, then walking through the kitchen and into the hallway, leaving a wet trail behind me.

I paused for a moment as I stood in front of the front door, adjusting my bikini over my chest as I grew anxious, knowing he was stood on the other side.