For You, Only For You

Undeniable confession

A/N: Hey everyone! I know it's been a while and I've been super busy. I read all the comments to update and I've started to get back into updating regularly. The Merthur has blossomed and I'm happy to say there is more to come. :) xA
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"If anyone's to put you in the stocks or the dungeons, it's me. Not anyone." He lets him go and takes heavy steps. "I need you."

He looks at him, a faint flutter of hope in his stomach. Arthur's never said that to him before. Not sober, at least. "You...do?"

Arthur stops and turns to Merlin. "I need you to find tonic of some sort for this never ending ache in my head. Meet me back in my chambers, i need a bath then your help to dress." His expression is stiff, masked, almost angry.

He blinks, feeling his stomach sink. He nods once, turning quickly and heading to his chambers to go through Gaius's potions. Arthur was angry with him, undoubtedly. He exhales through his teeth, walking briskly. Arthur was angry. Arthur would marry Elena. Merlin would spend the night in the dungeons. Brilliant. He pushes the door open roughly to the chambers he shares with Gaius, storming inside as the door bangs against the wall. He angrily begins rummaging through the potions on the shelf, grabbing the first one he sees that reads 'headache remedy'. Potion in hand, he turns on his heel and marches right out again.

He opens the door to Arthur's chambers, bottle in hand. He's made up his mind, on the way there, that whatever feelings he has for Arthur, they need to stop. It would never work between them...what with Elena and Uther and his magic and the likelihood that the only reason Arthur kissed him was because he was drunk. The only thing that mattered was trying to make Arthur as happy as possible with Elena. He holds up the vial in his hand. "I've got the potion." His voice is quiet and neutral, near emotionless.

Arthur sits on his bed, staring at the wall which he had just ravished Merlin on. He holds his boots in hand, shuddering and getting excited at the thought. He couldn't have. Kissing Merlin, he would have remembered every detail. If he wasn't drunk, if only, if only he could remember Merlin's lips. Yet Merlin's wrists bring nothing but anger towards himself as he remembers him asking Arthur to stop. Begging, pleading to stop. He clutched the boots and throws them at dinning table, a bowl of apples falling off the table.

"Arthur..." Worry enters his eyes and he bites his lip. He takes a few steps forward, hesitant after sidestepping the falling apples. He holds out the vial to him, a safe distance away. "Here."

He nods once, biting his lip as he shifts his weight from foot to foot. His eyes flick to the wall where Arthur had pinned him last night, and a small tug of desire yanks at the pit of his stomach. He drops his gaze.

Arthur is quick to catch where Merlin is looking. His face turns as red as the apples on the floor and he quickly turns his back to Merlin, opening the vial and taking a big gulp.

He silently drops to his knees, reaching across the floor and picking up the fallen apples, holding them to his chest as he stands and places them back on the table.

Arthur spins around himself, his mind racing. "Horse- bath! Prepare my bath." He turns and looks at Merlin. "I need a bath."

He nods and turns without question to the wash basin. He pours the water into it from several pitchers and crouches down by the fireplace to get a fire going to warm the water.

"Along with a fresh pair of decent clothes, proper for horse riding." His tone is hollow, masked, numb.

"Horse riding?" He turns to look at him over his shoulder. "What for?" He manages to get the fire going and rises to his feet, frowning at him.

Arthur speaks one word, one name. His heart hurt at that name, knowing he will have to force his heart to love..."Elena."

Merlin turns back to the fire, saying nothing. He dips his finger in the water briefly, his eyes flashing gold as he heats the water up a bit. "Your bath is ready sire." His tone is dull, nearly lifeless.