Bringing You Closer To Me

Chapter 19

 Nicole's POV

Another day in this shit hole. Great. Oh look, it’s the popular group. Time to find a different route to form. Arriving in the classroom after avoiding as many people as possible, I took my seat and waited for the register to be taken. Eventually the bell rang and Mr. Smith called my name. "Yes Sir." I replied in the same monotone voice as every other student in the class.

He dismissed us, but I remained in my seat. Religious studies with him. The rest of the class joined us and the lesson began.

"What is heaven?" Mr. Smith asked us. Various answers shouted out from across the room. I sunk down in my seat. This is going to be a long lesson. "Nicole. What's your idea of heaven?" he suddenly asked me, everyone turning to look at me.

"I believe heaven is where ever you want it to be. Wherever you're happy and at peace."

"Very good, where is your heaven?" he asked as the class sniggered.

"My heaven would probably be the seven sisters."

"Why's that?"

"So she can kill herself sir." One of the girls called out. He ignored the comment and motioned for me to carry on.

"I-I, um. I just remember as a child we would go there and I'd feel so free with the wind blowing through my hair, the seagulls soaring high through the sky and the waves crashing against the cliff face." I replied eventually.

“That’s beautiful Nicole. Thank you.” He replied, smiling at me. The lesson ended eventually and we made our way to French. It’s our speaking assessment today and I’m up first because I’m first in the alphabet. Joys of having a surname beginning with b I guess. I walked into the language office and take a seat opposite one of the language teachers.

"Bonjour Nicole, your topic is holidays, you may begin." I started my presentation and managed to keep going, making sentences up on the spot. Once I was done, they proceeded to ask me questions until I was asked to leave.

I exited the building and sat down on the grass, leaning against one of the trees. I pulled out my lyric book and began to write. The bell rang in the distance to signal the start of lessons. I ignored the bell and continued.

"Oi, fatty!" someone shouted. Lifting my head slightly, I looked around. Laughing and pointing, I spot a group of popular people from my year walking in my direction. Oh great.

Closing my book, I stuffed it into my bag and held it tightly. "What are you doing?" the boy asked.

"Nothing." I replied quietly, looking down at their feet, as they surrounded me.

"That's what I thought. What's your deal?" he asked. I looked up at him and he smiled slightly. Remaining silent, one of the girls bent down in front of my face. Gripping my chin, she forced me to face her. 

"We don't need you to tell us. Everyone knows you had sex with your dad. Everyone knows you slice away at your skin. You're just an emo whore that no one’s ever going to love."

"How the fuck do you know that?!" I spat. Anger spreading through my body, but it’s quickly replaced with shame.

"Don't you worry about that. What's important is that everyone knows and you can’t hide from it anymore. We're going to make your life a living hell." she smiled at me, before letting go of my face. The group laughed and walked away.

I haven't told anyone that. Well, except Sophie. It just kinda slipped out.

My dad raped me when I was 12. I remember it to this day. My twelfth birthday, he took me upstairs to my parents room and told me to sit on the bed. He said he had a surprise for me. He left the room and I sat there imagining what he could have possibly got me. I was hoping a puppy. He returned after about five minutes and raped me. I screamed and shouted for my mum, but she ignored my cries. They told me my virginity needed to be taken by someone who cared about me. Yeah, because they really cared about me.