The One Without Words

❀ chapter forty-eight | counting down ❀

Eli smiled bitterly. "Alright then. I won't force you to answer. But you feel that pressure? That's exactly the pressure you put on Jack with your invasive questions. And now you're backing down like a coward."

Seth stood up. "I just kissed you in a motherfucking public beach, and you're calling me a coward?"

"Kissing me during spin the bottle isn't the bravery you think it is, Seth."

"Fuck you. I'm trying my best. I'm trying to be nice to all of you motherfuckers, and you keep spitting in my face. What do you want me to say? That I had a thing for Jack? Fine. I'll admit it."

"Had?" Jack asked challengingly.

Seth groaned. His face flushed redder. "Yeah, had. Past tense. Who cares? Why does it matter? It was nothing anyway. Why are we talking about this gay shit now? That's not how I need to start the new motherfucking year."

"Gay shit?" Eli laughed. "To be honest, Seth, Jack and I have a lot more straightness in us than you."

He glared down at Eli. "I'm so done, bro. I'm really wanting to fight your ass right now."

Eli got up to look at Seth face to face. "Be my guest."

"Shall we start placing bets?" Anika asked.

But Seth only sat back down. "I hate this. You're just trying to get me to admit that I'm a fucking fag."

And then he burst into tears. It didn't seem like a thing Seth could physically do, but he was doing it, crying into his hands. As for me, I was still tipsy and trying to process how fast things had escalated. The alcohol had really brought some unresolved tension to the surface, it seemed.

And Eli started laughing. He clutched his stomach and rolled around on the sand and laughed and laughed and laughed.

"What's your problem?!" Seth snapped at Eli.

"You admitted it!" Eli wheezed. "About time, Seth. Oh my God. It all makes sense. Your gross homophobia. Your weird jokes."

Seth's crying ceased immediately. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"You're such a sadistic little shit, you know that? I take back that kiss. Asshole."

Eli sat up. For a second, his face fell. Did he feel bad about how harsh he'd been? A common thing with him—he'd take it too far and regret it later. One thing he and Seth had in common. And maybe Seth liked that Eli challenged him so much. Not everyone had the patience for it.

Anika glanced around as more and more people stepped onto the beach. Without checking the time, she said, "It's almost twelve."

We all stood up. I looked at my phone. "11:58, to be exact."

Seth sniffled. My head was a mess of half-formed thoughts. Any conflict between the boys paused as we waited the two minutes until midnight. Five of us and then dozens more lined up on the beach. Some held up their phones to record the incoming fireworks. All sorts of different music blasted from speakers.

Maybe that was my favorite thing about New Year's. The world went on pause, holding its breath for the single moment a year turned into the next. Even though the concepts of years and dates were all made-up anyway. Which only made it cooler. Billions of people linked together under an illusion.

Jack's hand brushed mine. I looked up at him as the crowd started counting down.

"FIVE!"

With all the spin the bottle, it didn't look like anyone here needed a New Year's kiss.