The One Without Words

❀ chapter forty-eight | counting down ❀

"I knew it!" Seth exclaimed. "I knew there was something weird going on with you and Jack. From the beginning, I knew it."

Nothing could match the mortified expression on Eli's face then. "There's nothing going on, Seth." 

"But there was. And you didn't tell me."

And with that, Eli quickly snapped out of his embarrassment. "Why would I tell you if you would've used it as leverage to bully Jack and call him gay? That was the last thing he needed. And I was actually afraid you would turn on me." He paused to take a breath. "Do you know how afraid I was to tell you I'm pansexual? It made me nauseous. I only did it because I hoped it would give you some fucking sympathy and leave Jack alone."

Seth put his face in his hands. "God damn it. I'm not drunk enough for this. I'm really not, bro."

Jack appeared to think the same, because he started taking long swigs of his beer. Anika watched the scene unfold with a silent calm, not looking any more awkward for being the outsider in these boys' drama.

But also... why hadn't Jack told me? Were we not close enough for that? Was he afraid I'd tell Seth? Additionally, Jack definitely knew that Eli and I were... involved before. It was impossible not to. The whole school practically knew we were hooking up. Was Jack embarrassed to admit that he'd been the first to board the Eli train?

I couldn't believe it. Had we all been transported into a harem anime with Jack as the main love interest? This "love square" between me, Jack, Eli, and Seth was getting weirder and weirder. Only Anika had the luck not to be involved.

Everyone was quiet. Nearby, a group of kids held bright sparklers as they splashed their feet in the shallow waves and laughed.

"So, uh, you like boys, too?" Seth asked Jack.

Jack let out a long breath and finished the rest of his beer. "Sometimes," he admitted, his voice quieter than before. More hesitant like he was having a harder time pushing the words out. "And you were the reason I didn't admit it to anyone. Not even myself. Because you can't admit it to yourself. Instead you decided to keep bothering me for two years." He looked at Eli. Then at me. "While you two watched."

I raised an eyebrow. Huh. He'd waited for just the right moment to reveal the thing with Eli, hadn't he? He must've been practicing for weeks. Jack the mastermind? Who would've thought...

"I'm really, really sorry, Jack," Eli said, tipsy, his tone bordering on begging. "I don't know how to come back from that. I'm a total fool. I didn't want to... I didn't want Seth to turn against me. Why I cared, I have no idea."

Jack gave him an unimpressed look.

Seth did the same. "So what you're saying is you pretended to be my friend so I wouldn't treat you like Jack?

"I wasn't pretending," Eli said. "To be honest, I don't even remember how we got to be friends."

Seth scoffed, "Yeah, right. You remember everything." Then, sighing, he told Jack, "Listen. I'm sorry too, okay?"

Jack put up his hood, a gesture I'd seen many times on this trip. He rarely ever took that blue hoodie off. "I'm not angry about it anymore. But it was nice giving you bruises and bloody noses."

"Uh, okay? We cool, then?"

Eli interjected: "First, how about you admit that you had a crush on him? You couldn't handle it, so you started bullying him instead. Do you know how easily that could've been me?"

"You don't need to speak for me, Eli," Jack muttered, his voice soft and hoarse, like the strength to speak was slowly fading.

"Yeah," Seth agreed. His face went bright red—something I'd rarely seen. "Let him stand up for himself if he wants. And don't even get me started with the questions."