The One Without Words

❀ epilogue ❀

As he promised, Jack did call me back. Three weeks after he left. Late at night as I was trying to sleep.

With tired eyes, I squinted at the phone screen, not even surprised to see the very fitting name: Jackass

I picked up. "You do know it's one in the morning, right?"

"I...I..." He stuttered. "I forgot about the time difference. Should I... call you later?"

His breaths were heavy, stilted; I felt his anxiety from the speaker, over 5,000 miles away from here. He could've just texted if he felt this nervous. But here he was, speaking to me out loud while I was still processing the fact he'd called. In my sleepiness, it was like the weeks hadn't passed; I could've just as well been in that hotel in Waikiki, whispering to him on the phone, stifling my laughs.

"This is fine," I said, sitting up in my bed. "About time you called."

"I..." he began before trailing off into silence. And I knew it wasn't just his social anxiety holding him back this time—it was guilt. I let him sit with it. I wanted him to feel bad. Because in the last few weeks, I'd been nothing short of a mess. I'd relapsed to some previous version of Romy—the version before he ever stepped foot into the flower shop. The version that didn't feel a rush at the sound of his voice.

The version of me that didn't love him.

"I'm really sorry about last time," he blurted out. "At the airport. I panicked. I couldn't get the words out. There was so much I didn't say."

Even now, my body reacted to his voice. My senses sharper, needing to catch every word. I hated this. I hated how much he made me feel with so little. I hated how I wasn't even mad. Upon hearing his half-assed apology, hope sparked in my emptiness. I wanted to blow it out.

"How's Germany?" I asked, voice flat.

"It's cold," he muttered. "I'm spending a lot of time with my sisters. They're twins. They love my rock collection. It's easy to talk to kids. I haven't talked out loud to my step mom yet. Just notes."

"Wow, I imagine Danielle must be jealous you have a new mommy."

"She is."

"Maybe she's going through her midlife crisis. My dad is in the middle of his. He got laid off from his tech job, and now he's feeling depressed and just focusing on flower deliveries."

"They should meet up," Jack said quietly. "What about you? How... are you?"

I laughed at the question. "I went street racing with Seth last week. Unfortunately, it wasn't nearly as fun as spending time with you."

"That's... worrying."

"Can't do anything about it while you're living across the ocean, huh?" I teased.

I wanted to tell him more. The whirr of engines, Seth's car skidding down the road as we struggled to get it back to center. Reckless. Boring. Typical. I needed a better distraction. I needed a boy who would make me forget about Jack. But there was no one I felt remotely attracted to. No one like him.

"I still care about you," he said.

"You love me," I corrected, rolling my eyes.

At least that was what he told me before shattering my heart into pieces.

His silence was my response. I smirked at his discomfort.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"For loving me?"

"Yes. For making things... complicated."

"Don't worry about it," I said. "Life would've been a lot less fun without it."