The One Without Words

❀ chapter twenty-six | finally living ❀

Okay, I had to admit—maybe I wouldn't mind kissing Jack Michel. Maybe this meant I was tipsy. Or hormonal. Maybe he was too cute for his own good. But regardless, he didn't seem to be getting the hint. I gave him a minute of silence—definitely enough time for him to make a move. Instead, he stared intently at the poster of the rock cycle he had on his wall.

"So, am I still your black onyx?" I asked him, leaning closer. "Or have I changed to rose quartz status?"

His shoulders tensed, but he didn't answer.

"Fine," I sighed. "We don't need to talk about that today. I don't want you to regret it tomorrow."

Slowly, he looked back at me. "Are you... are you being considerate?"

"I don't know, am I?"

A small smile broke through his cheeks. "You're being considerate! I'm impressed."

"It's only for you."

"...you don't think I'm a freak or something?"

"A freak? Where did you get that from? I think you're the opposite, actually. You don't change yourself for others."

"Thanks," he mumbled, scrunching up his face as he scratched his head. "You are the only person who thinks that."

"You're telling me you have no friends who accept you for who you are?"

"They got tired of me. Except for you... I guess."

Was this friendship? Doing regrettable things one day and then ignoring each other until the next time we decided to be impulsive?

"I can't even be embarrassed with you anymore," he said, rubbing his eyes. "I miss y—working at the flower shop."

"I thought you hated flowers?"

"You make me like them more than I should." He let out one of his usual silent laughs. "It's stupid. All the things I'll do to impress you. I had to get drunk just to get the courage to text you back."

"Do I scare you that much?"

"You're the scary sociopath coming to kill me with bouquets of flowers."

I nearly pushed him off the bed.

"I'm joking," he defended, still laughing. "I know you won't."

"Or maybe I will. Who knows, maybe I'll be the next Ted Bundy."

"Or the next CEO of Amazon or Microsoft or... those other businesses. Aren't CEO's sociopaths?"

"Amazon? Disgusting. I'll be the CEO of the world's first floral empire."

He smiled, reaching for the bottle only to realize all the whiskey was gone. He stared sadly at the empty glass and slumped backward on his bed.

"So, what happened to your rocks?" I asked.

"My dad," Jack said immediately. "He doesn't like to see them. He doesn't like to think I'm not normal. Or... not the normal he wants me to be."

"How can he expect you to be what he wants when he's not even around?" I remembered the family portrait downstairs. "Does he have another family?"

"In Germany. I have two half sisters."

"Are you close with them?"

"When I'm there. But I'm not there."

"Do you talk to them?"

"It's funny how I talk more in Germany," he drawled. "Here, I just have panic attacks. I had one that night with the cars. I had one this morning. I almost had one now. Maybe it's happening so much because I'm finally... living."