First Snow [B.A.P][ENG]

chapter 11

"two years before yongguk saw you when the first snow fall"

"i like you first."

I've been staph out hearing to his confession, i didn't know. oh well i would never know coz he keep it just to see his bestfriend happy.
just for make sure yongguk happy.

i literally start to cry, i didn't realize i causes too much pain to him.

"im sorry... i didn't know.."

"of coz u don't know, like u don't even want to know what i felt.
all the thing what u care was yongguk, he's dead but ur mouth never stop called his name... "

i stare into his eyes,
although we're in kinda far from each other but i can see the sparkling of tears on his eyes.

"himchan...im sorry.. "
i said as i look down on my feet.

"im tired of this. so let me end this with a final question. "

"who am i in ur eyes?" he asked.

i got a shivers all around my body hearing to his question.
i lift up my head to see he was there standing still while staring right into my eyes,without single blinking.

I've been froze. don't know what to answer. my mind can't think about any word. my tongue can't split any word out. sure, i do want him around me all the time. but idk as whom. as a lover or a best friend.

idk. i got confused.

what should i do?
i asked myself that question.

then,
the rain starting to stop, with a few raindrops left wetting the green grass as the wind blowing giving me another shivers.

sure, if there's no yongguk. i would fall into himchan. he has a lot of charm. but in this situation.
i can't think wisely.

i take a deep breath as i could feel my hand start shaking.
then, himchan smirking under his breath. and he say.

"i got the answer already. a friend "
i could see the pain behind those calm voice, a bitter when he clearing his throat. but, i don't know how to react. stupid me.

"son yeun ah.. i let you go...i won't bother you again.. i won't,
I'll stop"

he say with his deep voice, i just don't realize until this moment that he have a such deep voice. then a feel crashed into mine. a pain possessed me. my heart, it feel like it broke for a pieces. it has the same feel when yongguk left me. it's the same.

my breath become hard, my hand shaking even bad. i can't handle this.. what's wrong with me.
what happening inside me?

i feel like i want to run, then cried out on his arm rn, i do want to kill someone for that.

i felt more suffocated when i saw him starting to walk away. he left without any word

"son yeun ah, i let u go...
i won't bother you again.. i won't,
I'll stop"

that's it?
that's it. i don't know what's happening inside me, and i can't handle myself anymore.

tears streaming down through my cheeks, and as i tried to run and embrace him back my leg feel weak and shaking .then i fall to seat. cried out his name while looking at his car drive out to the main road. he left me for real. i want to hold him. i freaking wanting him! but, i...

i was stupid.

.
.
.
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about an hour has passed, and i could hear a sound of motorcycle roaring on the road. i lift up my head to see it was jongup. my moon angel.
and there's someone on the back seat, my eyes fixed on that figure. and as he opened his helmet, i saw his face. it's zelo.