Living on Borrowed Time

Chapter Ten

As we reached my door, I started to recognise a new need building up inside me, more powerfully than ever before. A lust like I'd never experienced. All the signs had been there since I very first connected with Charlie; I just hadn't paid any attention to them. The tingles, the butterflies, the heat between my legs. I wanted this guy. It might not have made any sense, it might not have even been the smart thing to do, but it was there all the same.

I gulped down my fear at this realisation—what the hell was I supposed to do about an uncontrollable desire for this guy that I didn't even know? I knew what I wanted to do, but that really didn't seem like the wise choice. I'd been making some bold steps recently, ones way outside my comfort zone, ones that were leading me towards finding out who I was, and I wasn't sure if this would be another one, or ten steps backwards instead.

Charlie must have noticed my silence as we stopped outside my home, because he suddenly stopped talking too. He stood in front of me, gazing deeply into my eyes, with an unreadable expression on his face. I felt an intense blush fill my cheeks, and a desire to look away before it got too embarrassing, but I couldn't. Even if I was utterly desperate to tear myself away from him, I had no chance in hell. I felt like as soon as I did, as soon as I broke the moment, the magic would be over and I wasn't quite ready for it to end just yet. I'd just had the best—and admittedly worst—night of my entire life, and the thought of it finishing was overwhelming.

I kept thinking that I should say something, but the words never came. My brain had seemingly switched off, but my body was still on fire—it was on top form, swirling with all kinds of insane sensations and emotions. Charlie was sending pricks of desire tingling all over me, and I felt like these pricks were whispering naughty things into my ear, encouraging me to do what I knew I wanted to, but that I also knew was probably wrong.

I felt myself being urged decidedly closer, and soon I couldn't ignore what my body wanted anymore. It seemed like Charlie was as hungry for me as I was him, because as soon I shuffled slightly, and leant in towards him, his lips met mine in a collision that lit my entire body into flames. Any passion that I'd been experiencing increased tenfold as he wrapped me up into his arms, moving his lips against mine, claiming me as his own. All the nerves, the terrified thoughts, simply vanished as he pressed his body up against mine, allowing me to get a better feel of his body. I almost lost myself totally right there and then.

I had no idea if I was supposed to be kissing someone so wildly that I'd just met, but surrounded by this haze of lust, I really didn't care. I was barely thinking straight, never mind worrying—which was a first for me! I'd spent so long locked inside my own world of terror, that to finally free myself of that felt amazing.

As we kissed, and his tongue slipped inside my mouth, I tried to take stock, to think about the right thing to do, just for a second. I just needed to think straight for a moment, I didn't want this to be something I ended up regretting. I wasn't the sort of girl to have sex with someone I barely knew...was I? Of course, I didn't know enough about myself to really answer that question. All I knew for sure, was this was something I wanted a whole lot. However, I also wanted Charlie to like me, and this didn't quite feel like the way to achieve that.

Then again, who was I to judge what Charlie would like? I was only basing my judgements on what I'd heard from others about the way to land a guy, and it wasn't like he was playing hard to get either. In fact, he was encouraging me to push further, to take this to another level.

Then his fingers slipped up the inside of my thigh and any thoughts about what I should do flew right out the window.

We burst through the door to my pokey flat, still furiously kissing. My handbag dropped from my shoulder and hit the ground with a thud, as we collapsed on my sofa, limbs wrapped around each other, as if we couldn't bear to be separated—even for a second. I allowed my clothes to fall from my body, barely opening my eyes as they did. I didn't want to properly see my surrounding, my familiar house. I was afraid that if I did, reality would hit and although I was sure that was probably the best thing for me, I was enjoying the moment too much for it to end in that way.