The first two months of school went by in a flash. The weekend visits that Alex had promised had only happened once and his mother was sure to let him know how she felt about it. School had kept him insanely busy. He hadn't been exactly sure what the first few days or weeks would be like, but he didn't expect the professors to jump right in and leave their students struggling to stay afloat.
He was stealing naps where he could and occasionally even fell asleep mid conversation with Ashley. Alex was enjoying it though. He was learning things about himself every day. Roman would listen intently as Alex went on and on about his classes or people he had met, and laugh when Roman swore he could feel Alex blush over the phone when he would tell him how proud he was, and how happy he was that Alex was happy.
When Roman started to call less and his emails were even less frequent, Alex tried not to think too much of it. He was sure Roman was probably just as busy as he was, though Roman would probably be even more exhausted. Alex would simply wait as patiently as he could. Patience had to be part of their life now, he knew, though it didn't make it any easier to smile as the days turned into weeks, leading them up to the Holidays.
"You better be here for Christmas!" Liz ordered after catching Alex between classes. He rolled his eyes, throwing his pen at Ashley, who was laughing into his own textbook.
"I will. You know Thanksgiving wasn't my fault. Melani, Ash, and I were pulling all-nighters for a week to get ready for exams."
Liz sighed. "I know, honey. But, you will be here for Christmas, right?"
"Yes, mom. Mel and I both. I don't know about Roman." He scrunched his nose at Ashley, who leaned in and began making sloppy kissing noises until Alex playfully shouldered him back.
"Have you two talked about the baby?" Liz said quietly, her giggly demeanor gone as she waited for an answer. Alex cleared his throat, his chin slightly dropping as his smile faded.
"A little bit. Ro's been very... distant, lately. I'm sure he's just been busy and all."
"I'm sure, honey," she agreed. "Alright, I'll let you boys study. I love you."
Ashley gave Alex a sympathetic look when his roommate tossed his phone onto his bed. Alex had told him about the pregnancy situation during a bout of insomnia that came out of the blue. He had found himself unable to think about anything other than the baby for days until he felt like he was over spilling with exhaustion and anxiety. Ashley had offered him a shoulder to lean on and offered the best advice he could. It had been good advice, simple, but it was refreshing to hear from someone outside the mess.
Alex desperately wanted to know what was going to happen though. Obviously, that was impossible to do, but a plan, or even a plan for a plan would suffice. He and Roman had nothing and Alex knew nothing about buying baby things. He knew that Mandy had been buying baby items, but there were no visitations even discussed to his knowledge. All Roman had told him about Tori was that she would email him brief updates about doctors' appointments, letting him know that everything was okay.
Alex didn't know if Roman would be coming home for the birth or what would happen after. He didn't know what his own role would be, or what he should do or say. He didn't know what it meant for the long-term. If he and Roman stayed together, what would he be, a step father figure? It was easy to get caught up in the confusion and madness of the situation and not being able to have a long, much-needed conversation with Roman about it, didn't help.
There was a chance that Roman would be home for Christmas. Alex would be off for two weeks and Roman was waiting to hear if he would have time to spend with them before he was shipped to his duty station. That notion brought a sharp ache to Alex's gut, one that was unrelenting in its realness. The more in love he fell, the further Roman moved away.
