Illusive -- Tronnor AU

Chapter 16: // Madness - Muse //

Fears.

Connor didn't have many of them. Sure, he was afraid of the usual things, like growing up alone or more recently (and understandably), the dark, but he'd never felt anything like this. He'd never experienced something that was so severe, so extreme, so very intoxicating. His fear lay with himself: he was terrified of his being and who he was becoming. He was frightened of Troye and how he had the ability to draw Connor in, make him feel at his most vulnerable, causing him to ache in more ways that one.

He was falling.

He was frightened, and he was falling, and there was nothing that he could do to prevent it from happening.

Troye had been right from the very start; they had formed an attachment. An unbreakable one at that.

Tyler had text Connor something resembling concern when he got home from a school swim team meet after the daydreaming incident, which resulted in him having to get himself off multiple times with thoughts and images of only Troye racked inside of his head. He only had to think of his name and the blood around his body would begin to flow faster, entering the regions of his brain, his heart and down towards the south. The whole thing was getting way too out of hand. It was beginning to scare him.

After a very quiet dinner with his parents, who were starting to worry about their sons complicated sleeping habits and tired appearance, Connor went up to room and began work on some Physics equations. He was around about halfway through when his phone buzzed.

With the notification appearing from 'Troye Boy', he hesitated before unlocking his phone, not knowing whether or not it was a good idea to answer.

//From: Troye Boy //

Bad news! I asked Tyler and Zoe about coming over on Saturday and they can't make it. They're going on a double date! :/ You can still come over if you want to though? xx

Connor's body stilled, taking in a sharp breath as his fingers hovered over the keypad. How was he supposed to reply to that? If he really wanted to, he could just make an excuse for not being able to come over, and this whole awkward and downright painful situation could be avoided.

And yet it seemed that the message couldn't be passed forward to Connor's trembling hands.

Because all he managed to type back was this:

//To: Troye Boy//

I'll be there xx

Before the woice in his head could scream at him that this was a very extremely hopelessly bad idea, the message had sent and Troye read it almost instantly.

//From: Troye Boy//

I really thought that you were going to say no for some reason? But yay! I'll see you on Saturday Con xxx

Connor tried to disguise his sheepish attempt of a smile, settling on not replying as he tossed his phone to the end of his bed. Somehow, after that conversation had happened, the physics equations got a lot easier to solve.

-

Troye was a walking paradox, a perfect contradiction.

Because although he was supposed to be a nightmare, a demon, one that struck fear through the most sensitive eyes and fragile feeling hearts, he could also be a dream, an angel, one that brought joy and happiness to anyone that he encountered.

Connor couldn't really tell which side he preferred anymore.

He waited with shallow breaths and hesitant glances in his dreamlike state, falling asleep almost immediately with Troye crossed legged at the edge of his bed. He propped himself up on his elbows as the boy held him in a trance, his eyes transfixed on the darkened and lustful eyes that lay in front of him.