Sarah Montana Living In The Boys' Dorm

Ch 77. Invading Me

"I am thinking about the kiss your brother and me had yesterday!" is nothing I can blurt out in front of Emíne. She'd be so disgusted since it's her brother.

Again, I thought of counseling Ambreal. She has lately been the way out of my problems but I decided to just shut up about it. It's nothing worthy to talk about. It's just kind of embarrassing.

"Sarah!" Justin yelled. I jumped out of my seat and saw my hair fly up with me. When I landed on the floor I got up with an apologetic face facing Justin. He looked frustrated but I don't think he's any closer frustated as I am. He'll never go through that line. Unless he also kissed Darrén and is thinking about that... Hey, that's possible because I suspect that he's gay but just hasn't told anyone. He doesn't really need to tell anyone.

But I still don't think that he has kissed Darrén. What am I thinking...? Why the hell would those guys kiss each other?! And why am I thinking about it? I want to switch brains with someone because I think weird thoughts.

"Just get out. I'll tell you about it later just take the day off for now..." Justin sighed looking out the window. I didn't want to protest since I wanted to relax for once. I left the building fast so that Justin couldn't change his mind and just sat at the bench outside. It was cold but it didn't hit my mind. I couldn't help replaying the scene in my mind. My head did it even when I was unconscious. It appeared everywhere, and soon it will appear on the movie screen.

I can't take this! I thought I was good with forgetting stuff since I moved forward so fast when mom and dad abandoned me. But this is something else. It's not like Darrén abandoned me. He stays here no matter what and I know that. Everytime he's there when I need him the most he has it in his eyes. 'I'll stay. I won't leave you.' is what his eyes tells me everytime he looks at my crying face.

It has always been him. My attention has always been directed to him. Darrén is definitely special. He has helped out so much and I am just sitting around watching him - and waiting for a chance to be able to pay back and help him. Well I helped him from May but I was the one that made him get into that problem so I didn't really get any credit.

"What are you doing here?" a voice asked me. I turned around and saw Kevin with a big jacket.

"Got a day off." I said and looked at the iced fountain. He suddenly got chills looking at me.

"Shit! Aren't you freezing?!" he shrieked and I took a look at my t-shirt and jeans. I did freeze but my brain is really good at shutting out my body's feelings when I think of my hearts feelings.

"Not really. Why are you here at my agency?" I asked him when he took the seat next to me.

"Recorded a single with a newbie of your agency. It'll come out next week." he smiled and I could see the love for music he had just like I have.

"I'll buy it." I smiled and he gave me back that smile of pure happiness. "How long have you been in this business?"

He looked up with a slow look. "I think... for three years." My eyes shot up.

"That long?"

"It's not really long for getting so much fame sweetheart." he grinned. "Do you even know anything about the showbusiness?"

But still. For three years. It long as hell.

"And some have to be a trainee for years until they debut but I'm one of the few ones that didn't need it." he bragged.

"I never became a trainee and I've been in showbusiness for six months." I said with an empty look. I didn't know how his reaction was since I wasn't looking at him but this atmosphere told me the whole thing.

"For getting this much fame and attention after six months..." he stuttered. "You must be very talented."

"Or lucky..." Since I was only a good replacement enough for the girl that flunked out of it. And I accepted only because it was a fast cash maker. I never put a special thought about it. And I felt a bit sorry because I don't think I'm good enough to have been debuted without being a trainee in the past. They were just desperate for replacement and I was the closest one. One make-over and it was settled.

Now I feel a bit sick about it. Justin was lucky that I made money through it anyway.

"Anyway, are you free right now?" Kevin asked me. I nodded. "How about we just go grab a coffee or something?"

"Sure..." I smiled and got up. Coffee isn't really my favourite. I think it stinks - literally. And tea isn't really something I like either but it doesn't stink at least. But I'll just order some water.

Now when I think about it, Kevin is a nice person. I've judged him too hard. In the beginning I liked him but I became quite harsh when I heard about the Darrén-Kevin past. A mistake I'd rather not remake. But I have an easy mind. Whatever that burdens or burdened Darrén is something that'll make me change my whole opinion. Reason? Still unknown. I think half of my brain is being controlled my him. 

"What do you want?"

"Water and... a brownie!" I grinned. I love brownies but never get the chance to eat them with the busy time I have.

"I thought you'd take salad." he teased me and we took a seat.

"I don't even want to hear that word!" I sighed. Maybe it's not the best thing ever but it's good for you. But hey, I've lived alone since I was ten years old so has anyone really made me eat things like that?

I took a bite when we sat there comfortably, small talking about how we entered the agency and things like that. When I opened my mouth to eat the brownie the kiss-scene flashed before my eyes once again, making me drop my spoon.

"Fucking shitbag." I cursed calling for the waiter to get another spoon.

"What's up with that?" he chuckled. I didn't want to tell him this. He'd just laugh at me. It's typical guys laughing at a small matter like this since they can play around as much as they want and not even recalling things whether they want it or not.

"I got... uh have spasms." I told him instead of explaining the whole embarrassing story. He's a playboy so I doubt that he'd not laugh nor try to suppress it.

He's so different compared to Darrén.

And then again, my stupid scene replayed. This time the spoon was not the victim.

"Ouch!" Kevin yelled out loud and dragged some attention to us. There were whispering and I suspected that people recognised us even though there were mostly old people here.

"What's the matter with you?!"

"Spasms!" I said as fast as I could. It was actually a really good reason.

But that wasn't the feeling in my heart. It ached. And I knew why.

Out of anger. I can't even chat with a friend without thinking about him and getting stupid spasms?! Why can't I stop thinking about him? Why can't he just get out of my mind?

The answer was clear.

He invaded my head - my body and soul. He's become my everything. Without even trying - he took control of my whole body.

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Anyone that likes her reaction? The typical Krystal-reaction? You know, feeling like that - yet not even noticing. And she always blamed Darrén for being dense...

As usual, tell me your thoughts!

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