Prologue

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  • Dedicated to the prettiest nigga I know
                                    

Rakim Mayers

When I first met Crystal, I was positive that she was the one. She was everything I looked for in a woman. She was beautiful, both book and street smart, and had an outgoing personality. My parents loved her, and I honestly saw a future with her. Crystal never took things too serious, and knew how to joke around, which was what I loved about her. I was a pretty goofy person myself, and it was perfect having someone like Crystal to balance me out.

Not only was Crystal my girlfriend, but she was also my best friend, and my number one fan. She was there for me before the fame, and before I even took rapping seriously. When my parents thought that I was 'stupid' for chasing such a thing, and disapproved of my rap dreams, Crystal was there supporting me every step of the way. When my music started getting into the right hands, and I was finally becoming known, everything changed.

The time I shared with Crystal went from the best years of my life, to the most miserable. From having to attend countless interviews, and shows, I began to rarely have time for her. Every night I did get to spend with her, always ended in a pointless argument, and resulted in me leaving. She of course began to assume that I was cheating, which only made matters worst. She would always accuse me of sleeping around with 'some ho', when I was just out in studio, doing shows, or just hanging with my friends.

I was one hundred percent faithful to Crystal, despite all the temptations being thrown in my face every day, and the accusations she made. Nothing I did was ever good enough though, so after a year of an on and off relationship, we finally broke it off. I was tired of being accused of some shit I didn't do, and always arguing with someone who I never use to argue with. The spark that me and Crystal once had was gone, and there was no bringing it back.

Once I was finally able to say that I was single, I was much more at peace. I missed the old Crystal I fell in love with, but I didn't need her down my back every time I turned around, yelling until she doesn't even remember what she was yelling at me for. As soon as I thought everything was all behind me, and I began doing me, Crystal reappeared. Apparently, she was pregnant, with a baby boy, and the child was mine.

Crystal was never the type of person to be linked to numerous guys, but just to make sure, I got a paternity test. The child, was in fact mine, and when he was finally born, I couldn't even deny it. The little guy looked exactly like me. Although the baby didn't change the fact of me and Crystal not being in a relationship, I decided to take up for my responsibility, and work with her for the baby's sake. I did what ever it took to insure that the baby had both parents in his life.

I sent Crystal more than enough money for the baby, got the baby what ever it needed, so that she didn't have to, and even worked out a schedule with her to be able to pick him up. I wasn't just the type to send off money. I wanted to actually create a relationship with my child. It was hard to do so though, when she rarely let me saw him. For some reason, she apparently didn't trust me with 'her' son, even though it was also mine as well.

Just like the typical bitter baby mama, she of course went off telling her friends that I didn't try to help with the baby, and all I cared about was my career. It even went as far as her lying to numerous tabloids and gossip sites, claiming me to be a deadbeat father. After finally being caught up in lies, and getting over the petty ass attitude she had towards me, she finally let me fully be apart of my son's life.

I didn't actually get to meet my son until he was three. Although two years wasn't necessarily a lot, it hurt. I missed my first child both first, and second birthday. That's something I'll never be able to go back and fix. Now that I was finally able to be here in his life though, I promised to be the best father I could be, and a better father that my father was to me.

But no one said it would be easy.

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