Spencer Reid One Shots

My Immortal (Softly - Three)

He was pleased she'd gone back, it gave her something to do. He'd hated seeing her sitting and wallowing, not even crying sometimes, just staring off into space at the same spot on the wall for hours.

She was making progress. She was slowly, so slowly, starting to live her life again. She wore his wrist watch everywhere she went though, she'd had it adjusted to fit her slim, delicate wrists. And she'd not yet removed her engagement ring, not once. She still looked for that scarf though. He knew where it was. He'd seen it seven weeks ago when Morgan had helped her move their... well her, bedroom around. It had fallen behind a dresser and neither of them had spotted it. He'd tell her, eventually. That was his favourite item of clothing and for some reason, he knew it wasn't the right time for her to find it yet, no matter how hard she looked for it.

He'd watched her get dressed up a few times to go out with the team, looking more beautiful than the sun and moon themselves, although each time she'd returned she'd fallen into bed sobbing, crying out her him. So he'd wait for her to fall into that state, that special state. Then he'd go to her.

She was starting to understand why she could see him. He was... a ghost, a spirit of sorts and she'd asked him one night whether he was actually there. He was and he wasn't, is what he'd told her. Because it was true but it also wasn't true. It was such a contradiction but she accepted it for what it was and she'd continue to accept it, it meant she could see him and that he could talk to her and hold her. She was so warm when he hugged her and he was so cold all the time. Being next to her made him feel alive again, reliving happy memories, before she'd relent and slip off into a deeper sleep where she could no longer feel him.

He'd visited his Mom as well. Just the once, to say goodbye. He didn't go again. One visit she'd accept as a dream, any more and he'd risk upsetting her already fragile emotions and he didn't want to aggravate his Moms condition.

He visited Derek too, a few times actually. To make sure he was keeping good on his word and looking out for Y/N, although he knew he was. Derek had been his best friend on the team and he'd known there was no way he'd let Spencer down.

Spencer had dropped in at work one day, sitting in the corner of Rossis' office as he counselled a distraught Morgan.

"Dave, it's wrong... I need to make these feelings go away."

"Derek, it's not wrong. You can't help how you feel. Has she given any indication....?" The older man had tried to delve deeper, comforting his friend.

"I don't know... Sometimes I think so and then others.... I can't tell. And I can't act on it like I normally would to find out." Spencer watched a tear slip from his best friends eye, wishing he could help him.

"Why not?"

"You know why Dave, you know why."

The older man had sighed and patted Morgans shoulder. "He'd want you to be happy Morgan. He'd want both of you to be happy."

Spencer hadn't been sure how he'd felt about the conversation at first, and then he had a long hard think about it and decided that he didn't mind it. Morgan was a good guy, and he knew that this would be different flings.

... Another three months after....

The anniversary of his death had kicked you back down to rock bottom, resulting in another absence from work, although this one had only lasted a week. He'd come to you that night, not holding you this time, you told him not to. You needed to sob this out by yourself.

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me