Transformed (#Watty's2016)

Chapter 7

Bumblebee's POV

*"NO!" I'm slammed up against a wall, his hands wrapped tightly around my throat. "You don't want to talk?! Fine, you won't have to ever again! Trust me..." Suddenly his grip tightens as he stares me directly in the optics, an extremely menacing and scary smile on his face. I feel a white hot crushing pain in my throat. I would cry out in pain but, I can't... I'm dropped to the ground and I black out.*

I shoot straight up in my berth and if I could yell, I would be doing that very loudly. I look around very panicked when I recognize where I am. I'm breathing heavily, like so heavily I could get a cramp. My lungs start to loosen slightly and I'm trembling. My hands are all sweaty and I start crying in frustration. This happens to me every night, and I HATE it. I curl myself up into a tight ball and start rocking back and forth. It's the only thing that really helps me. I try to fall back into recharge but the moment I shut my optics his face flashes in my mind. Ugh, I swear to Primus, one day, I will kill Megatron. And I will get my voice back. I hope... I think of Raf and Arcee to help myself fall back into recharge. Why me? I never asked to lose my voice or to be troubled by it. I never asked for Megatron to swoop in, kill all but one of my teammates and myself, and interrogate me! And I most certainly didn't ask to be brave and stupid enough to say NO to him! I can feel the anger bubbling up inside me. I swear if I have to survive another night like this, which I've been doing for the past 5 years since that day... I will snap! I get out of my berth realizing that I need to cool off before trying to recharge again or it will never work. I go into the main control room and go up into the elevator. I go up to the top of the cliff face to look at the city and calm down. I'm scared. I'm tired of this scrap. I wish it would just end... I get to the top to find someone is already up here. I'm still a little shaky and apparently my cheeks are still wet... Oh I'm still crying. I didn't realize it... I was about to turn around to find somewhere else to go when, whoever else is up here noticed me. "Who's there?" She said. Oh no it's Arcee... I don't want her to see me like this. In her eyes I'm tough, not weak. If she saw me like this... She'd pity me but I don't want anyone's pity... I don't respond. Maybe if I don't do anything she'll just think she's hearing things? She sighs. "Bee, is that you?" She asks. My covers been blown. I guess I'll respond now. 'Yeah. Why are you up at this ungodly hour?' I respond to her. "Why are you still up?" She asks. 'Hey, come on Cee, I asked first!' I joke. She laughs a bit. She sighs again. "I couldn't shake the thoughts of Cliff out of my mind." She says seriously. I hug her tightly. She seems like she was crying too. That just makes me squeeze her even tighter. I don't want her to feel sad anymore. "Okay Bee, it's your turn. Why are you awake and up here?" She asked. I knew this would come... 'I had a bad dream. About... About my voice.' I respond. She looks a bit shocked. "They came back? Oh Bee I thought they were finally gone for you." She says. I sigh. 'Arcee, there's something I haven't told you or anyone... The dreams never actually stopped. I lied to you and everyone else. I was tired of everyone worrying about me and giving me all these mess to try and make them stop. So I said they were gone instead of just asking you all to stop. Mostly cause I knew you probably wouldn't...' I confess. When we first got to earth my reoccurring dreams of when I lost my voice were still haunting me every night and everyone was so worried about me and acting different around me to make sure I didn't get offended or scared and Ratchet would always ask if I had another dream the night before and I'd say yes and then he'd give me some sort of pill that was supposed to make them go away but it never worked. So one day I was just so sick of it that I told them that it had worked. They all treated me normally again after that and I never told anyone that I actually was still getting the dreams. Until now. Arcee looked at me sympathetically and hugged me while saying "Oh Bee we never knew that that was how you felt. You should've said something. Instead you've still been stuck with those dreams for the past three years, adding onto the first two years you'd had back on Cybertron. In the morning I think you should tell everyone." She said. I immediately pulled back from her hug, eyes wide. 'No. I don't want things to go back to the way they were! I hated it I just want to be normal like you guys. At least, I don't want to feel likeminded the super special one that always needs to be taken care of. Besides, Optimus and Ratchet already got mad at me once today. Having them mad at me two days in a row is not exactly what I call a good thing. Maybe another day.' I say back not wanting her to tell a spark or soul about this. 'You can keep this a secret for me, right?' I say. She looks at the ground for a minute before looking me right in the eyes and nodding her head. "If that's what you want, I'll do anything for you." She says. 'Thanks' I say. We both go sit down on the edge of the cliff and watch the dark city. Or at least, dark with the exception of a few small glimmering lights. Arcee snuggles her head into the side of my neck and I lean my head on top of hers. It's quiet for a few moments as we watch the peaceful sleeping city. Cybertron used to be like this. Where did that all go? Oh right, it all went into hell due to Megatron's greediness. What a fragger. First he takes our peace, then he takes my friends and family, the he takes my voice, our planet. He almost took Raf when he blasted him with dark energon! And yet, despite our efforts we still just can't seem to get rid of him! He just makes me wanna- my angry thoughts are cut off when Arcee's lips met my cheek. 'Stop thinking about him. You're going to blow a fuse. Calm down.' She thinks as she starts to pull away. I look at her and she looks back. Her eyes shine a bright blue for a split second and then it fades back out to normal human coloured eyes. I've seen that look on her eyes before. I saw it when she was with Cliffjumper. She was in love with him but couldn't bring herself to tell him. And now he's gone. Poor Arcee. She leans in toward me and I follow. Our foreheads are touching and I close the gap between us. I can feel my spark rate quicken as I kiss her. It feels like a bunch of little fireworks are going off everywhere inside me and I just feel so happy, all the memories of both our pain fading away. I pull away to catch my breath and I know she needed to as well. I look at her and realize something that could blow our cover. 'Arcee, your lips... They're turning, blue!' I say. "So are yours" she says. Oh no this is bad. We both completely forgot that when a Cybertronian shares a "moment" with another, they're lips turn blue. I asked Ratchet once, he said it's cause when two Cybertronians are in love and they kiss, energon rushes to their lips to soften them up a bit to allow it go a bit smoother. Unfortunately the energon stays for another 24 hours afterward which, also unfortunately, kind of notifies others of what happened. Our kiss earlier must not have lasted long enough for our lips to change but this time it sure as hell did. Honestly, I don't think Arcee or I would be worried about it if it didn't mean Optimus would find out. He doesn't exactly approve of relationships between bots cause it causes interference with the task at hand and if the decepticons found out they could use it to their advantage. Oh well, too late now. 'Arcee, how are you going to hide that? I can just put my sweater back on but yours doesn't zip up that high. And even if it did, they'd get suspicious. I don't think they would fall for you telling them I'd created a new fashion trend.' I say, just slightly worried for our physical and mental health. 'And Ratchets a doctor. There's no way we're fooling him. Bulkhead and the kids saw us in the courtyard earlier so Optimus would be the only one truly unsure. We need to keep it that way and make sure Ratchet doesn't spill. Or Bulkhead. Or Miko, Raf or Jack.' I finish. We're officially screwed. She looks deep in thought. 'I could try telling them that Miko made me try on a really bright blue lipstick? Well just make sure that she gets the memo and that no one sees me before the kids arrive...' She thinks. 'That's insane.' I think. She gives me a look saying "got any better ideas?" 'I wasn't done talking yet, sheesh. Now as I was saying, that's insane but, insane plans are usually the ones that work best in situations like these. I should know. I'm a scout after all and my plans are usually insane. They also usually work too.' I state. The glare she was giving me changed into a smile and she shoved me playfully. I pretend to begin to lose my balance on the edge of the cliff, scaring her for a moment when I regain my balance with a smile on my face. She crosses her arms and gives me a warning look. I mimic her. We head back inside, her laughing and me mentally laughing. Arcee looks at the watch thing on her wrist and apparently it's 4:30am. We enter the main control room carefully, making sure Ratchet isn't it for some reason. (He gets up really early sometimes. Says he has important things to work on. He's also just very weird so I'm assuming it has something to do with that). Seeing that everyone else is still asleep, we quietly head back to our berth rooms. Completely forgetting about why I was up in the first place, I easily fall back into recharge. The rest of my dreams for that night were very peaceful.