BOSS 2 | COMPILATION OF ENTRIES

Entry#28: Love the Cruise

            It was Friday and the humid of the early dawn streaked on my face. The sun was about to shine from the east as I gladly pulled my car over the noisy pier. The barks and the horns of people and ships rang through my ears. I slowly stepped out of my car and scanned the dock. Everybody was busy with their own businesses. There were persons clothed in rugged shirts and pairs of worn out jeans maneuvering the tourists who were being loaded in the gargantuan size ships. At the other side, pets and other packages were being carried in the lower part of the ship.

            And then there were you. You who had his Azure eyes fixated on my baby blue ones like you always did ages ago. Your copper blond hair was disheveled in a messy way that struck in different ways. You who had his mouth gaped open with the sight of me. It was as if you were wonderstruck by my appearance. You were wearing a V-neck white t-shirt and a pair of worn out jeans just like the crews. I wanted to take a stride to be close to you, but my feet were frozen and I was stuck. I wanted to lift up my hand to wave at you but I was too shy to do so. I wanted to open my mouth to say "Hi", but held it back. Then the cruise ship horned again, a signal of near departure. And in a blink of an eye, you were gone.

            The trip had started and we were on our way to Milan, Italy. Even though I was too excited to see the place for the first time, you never slipped off of my mind. The guy who was standing and gazing at me earlier that day stayed on my mind. I tried to shrug you off of my thoughts but you always crossed like a trespasser. I set you aside but you never left. I wished I could see you again to sweep you off of my system.

            Until tomorrow came. It was Saturday and the bright sun shone in above. We were a cruise ship and, oh, there was a pool on the deck. I was eager to erase the moist and dirt of yesterday so I took off my clothes and hastily dove under the blue ocean water.

            Someone whistled at my back, I ignored it. Someone shrieked and muttered "Christ!" and it was you, again. Your Azure eyes were fuming with fire as you find the suspect why your half-naked body and white board shorts were soaked in wet. When you set your eyes on mine, the fuming fire of anger wasn't there anymore. Softness replaced it, my heart melted. The electricity of your soft stare ran through my veins, I shivered and it was in a good way. My heart beats in an extraordinarily fast way. It was insane. I thought my heart would pop out of my chest. And my breath; I wasn't aware that I was heaving so hard and the ability to inhale and exhale seemed so difficult to do.

            Someone whistled at my back, our locked gaze snapped. As if waking up from a dream, I suddenly have the guts to run close to you. I immediately stalked out of the pool as fast as I could. But then when I was already on the gutter side and felt like want to have a glimpse of you, you were gone. Again.

            The Saturday evening was a blast. The night was still young yet there was a party going on. With a loud music and stinging smell of alcohol, people were definitely having the fullest of their lives. The crowd was dancing, chatting loudly to each other; contrasting the loud banging noise of music. I searched for a vacant table but there was none. Until I met your Azure eyes, again. You were alone in a table of six. You were wearing a camisole and sweatpants. A glass of rhum was on your hands, tossing it immaculately. Three seconds of gazing at you and I was back on my senses. Panic surged me when you stood and held your way towards me. Confused, I ran away from you. I bumped onto different persons but they seemed care less as I silently uttered, "Sorry". I ran as fast as I could, as fast as my breath could afford. I never took a chance to glance at my back to see you. Whether you ran after me or done nothing, I didn't know what to do but ran.

            At last, the cruise ship anchored at one of the pier in Milan. Every fellow tourist that I saw if not delighted was excited. The first stop had come and everybody was unloading from the big cruise ship.At exactly ten o'clock in the morning, everybody was gone in a tour—heading to different tourists' spots—but me. I was taking my time studying the city map, marking the beautiful places I'd read in a book. When I was done and contented, I pulled my travelling bag and eased out of my cabin.

            As I passed the hallway, silence kept me accompanied. There was no one in the silent hallway but you. You were on the end of the hallway where I was headed to. You were looking at me intently just like the other days; just like you used to do. Your Azure eyes kept on me, fixed. I started to tremble and hesitated to go through the way, but it was much embarrassing to turn my back. Too pretentious to be brave, I slowly walked towards you. Well, not really towards you because I was going to walk as if you weren't existed and the electricity between us were invisible. My heart thumped unevenly as your eucalyptus scent sent through my nostrils. I hastened as my bare arm slightly touched yours. I would give anything just to bet that I'd seen you opened your mouth to say something but as if changing your mind's desire, you just tightened your lips as I walked past you. My pace suddenly became slower, hoping you to grab my arm and tell me you were mesmerized by my being. But you never did. And I wanted to cry.

            I sat on a bench in a local park and forced myself to cry. I never cried since I was sixteen. Eight years later, I wasn't able to cry, anymore. I didn't know how to cry, anymore. I pinched myself real hard 'til my arms got bruised. I bit the insides of my lips 'til it bleed. I slapped myself 'til my cheeks turned red. I slammed my head on the bench 'til it hurt. Real hard. But I didn't cry. I wanted to cry. I didn't know how. Until I saw a beautiful woman. She was laughing her lungs off. She seemed so carefree and very happy. She was glooming with so much bliss. And you were gently holding her hand. Waterworks started to do their jobs. They first got out of my lachrymal glands and ran down on my own cheeks. I cried again. I was able to cry again. I screamed and I got your attention.

            I panicked. I wiped away my tears and stood then ran in a flash; you chased me. The beautiful woman was calling your name and you just ignored her. She said "Wait!" but you didn't care and so do I. I ran and ran and ran. You did the same. I turned left and hoped that you were headed straight the way. I hid behind a post and wait 'til I breathed normally. It was close. You were almost close. I waited for almost half an hour. When I feel you were nowhere near me, I got out from my hiding place. I scanned the alley pathetically, looking at any trace of you. Thank God, there was none. Just when I finally let out a sigh of relief you were suddenly in front of me. Toes to toes. Inches away from me. I held my breath for a really long minute. Azure found the baby blue ones. There was a big "Why?" in your eyes. Rush of panic overcame me. I leaned back but your glare instantly pinned me to the post and you asked me with the most painful voice: "Why?"

            My heart started to pound unusually. The fall and down of my chest were unnecessarily fast. Your brows creased as you waited for my answer. I didn't say anything. I kept my silence while you were looking at me quizzically. I didn't know what to say nor was I supposed to say something. You seemed to lose your patience as you anticipated if I was going to talk or not. "It was eight years. Why did you come back?" There was nothing but remorse in your voice. The tears in my cheeks were flowing gloriously. I furiously shook my head and cried as I could.

            You grabbed my right arm and drops of water started to fall from your beautiful Azure eyes as you grabbed not my arm but the cold breeze of air. You punched the post and cried harder like me. "Why? Why you came back, now that I'm happy?" Your eyes reflected your pain. It was the same pain when you were at my funeral eight years ago. I thought you were going to be glad to see me again. I might say I was wrong. "Gabe!" The lady you were with finally found you. Her face was red and she was out of breath. "Who are you talking to out there?" She shouted and your cry became frantic.