Last Hope (Kellin Quinn) {Book 3}

7. dinner

Dinner

Song: A Drop In The Ocean by Ron Pope

You are my heaven…

~Summer~

I needed to get away after my night with Kellin. I figured since Kalel and Mom were going back to California I'd go with them and stay until Kellin went home. I've been in Cali for three days now. Kellin when back to Michigan with the twins last night. I should go back home, but my mom wanted me to hang out with her new boyfriend and his children. I don't want to though. I'm fed up with boys. I feel guilty because I cheated, guilty because I left Destery alone to escape Oregon, and guilty because I'm mad my mom is trying to move on from her dead husband. 

Together at Sierra's home we sat around the table. On the left side of the long table was Sierra, her husband, and two of their children. On the right side was me, Kane, Brian, and my mother. On the two ends were Sierra's oldest kid and Kalel.

Since the dinner took place at Sierra's house and it was her idea for us all to get to know each other she made the food. Kalel and I made dessert, which was homemade ice cream, and Kane (being a lover of working outside) made drinks for anyone twenty-one and younger. He made fresh lemonade, which the youngest kid at the dinner was obsessed with. 

As I looked around the table I noticed how everyone was smiling, laughing, and enjoying the night. I just kept thinking about how everything is so… wrong.

Kellin had sex with me. Not only did I cheat on Destery, a wonderful guy who I can't lose, but I also felt something as Kellin and I made love. We divorced for a reason, and that reason wasn't to get back together, right? 

And then there's my mom. My sister is so happy that Mom is finally getting back into the dating world. I don't blame Brian for being with my mom. She's beautiful, smart, funny, and amazing. You'd be stupid to not fall for her. I blame her though. When she married my dad she promised him forever. After he passed away she swore to me that she'd never be with another man because it'd be cheating. She promised me that no one could ever take the place of my father. Of Sierra's father. Of Rick's father… and she lied. 

I can't handle sitting here, looking at my beautiful mother with another man. Brian isn't meant for her! He isn't meant for our family! It pisses me off that she thinks she can just wave her new boyfriend in my face. It pisses me off that Mom, Sierra, and everyone else is happy that this shit is happening! 

"Summer, you don't look good." Speak of the devil. He set his fork down and gave me a concerned look. Like he even cares about me. "Are you feeling sick?" Brian asked. 

I shook my head no and stood up. "No. Yes. I don't know. I feel tired," I lied. I've been wide awake for the last twenty-four hours now. I faked a yawn and rubbed my eyes. 

"Sum, you should go rest in our guest room. Besides, you gotta long drive back to Oregon tomorrow. Go get some rest," Sierra requested. When our eyes connected I could tell she saw ringht through my acting. I've told her how I felt about Brian before. She's trying to understand, but can't really. In a way I don't even understand. His children are great; Kalel is a fun person with a lovely personality, and Kane is… well, I'm sure he's a kind gentleman. We haven't really spoken though. I don't think I've ever heard him talk to be honest. 

I guess I like his children because they aren't dating my mom. He is. 

I nodded and staggered to the guest room. I stripped down to my bra, panties, and socks to get more comfortable. I laid flat on my back so I could stare at the ceiling. Little glow-in-the-dark stars were stuck there, probably because the guest room used to be their youngest kid's room. I found it cute. My sister and her husband didn't want to take down the stars. I wouldn't either if I was in their shoes. 

I guess I am in their shoes. In the twins' room there are stars on the ceiling. Soon enough they'll move into different rooms so they won't have to share. I might use their old room as a guest room, as an office, a small studio, a storage room, an art room, a place to write and keep all my instruments… who knows? I want those stars to stay there though, to remind me of my babies. 

No matter how angry I get because of my mom, confused because of my feelings towards Kellin, or how bad I feel because of my actions, my girls make it better. All three of them; Della, Allixandria, and Scarlett. I love all of them more than I can explain. They make me happy. I'd do anything for them. 

Like the poem goes…

i guess
i'm crazy 
because i'd do anything
to put a smile
on your face.

~b.k.

I honestly would. They are my angels, my heaven, my everything. Maybe they'll help me decide what I should think and do. With my mother, Destery, and Kellin… 

Maybe…

A/N: Ten comments please. And I promise the chapters will get longer. In a chapter or two we'll be getting into the very interesting stuff that I can't wait to write. Love you all.

~Catt