michael & leslie

three - panic (attack)! at the disco.

☹michael☹

"Ugh, Calum, I'm sleepy," Michael yawned, following his brother to the fence at the back of their house. They had finally reached home after an hour of walking there- Calum didn't have money to take the bus, he had spent the last few dollars he had earlier that day on a bag of chips and a Blink-182 t-shirt for Michael. The shirt was for Michael's upcoming birthday, but he had had a bad day at school, and Calum made him come to the gig at the club with him, so he gave it to him early. Michael kind of deserved the present early, though, for many obvious reasons.

"Well, I hope you're not too sleepy, because we're gonna have to climb in through the window again," Calum sighed, dragging Michael through the trees. Michael had still been working on his bag of chips Calum had gotten him earlier, but as he comprehended his brother's words, the bag dropped from his hands and onto the muddy ground, wet from the rain. His mouth went agape as his tired, watery green eyes widened. No.

"B-But, I thought you said that M-Miss Lela w-wasn't home tonight?" Michael gasped, stopping in his tracks, which caused Calum to stumble a little, but Michael didn't really care at that moment. "We're gonna be in s-so much tr-trouble if she catches us!" No no no no.

Calum groaned, turning around to face Michael. The brunette's lip was quivering, his eyes becoming even more watery than they were before as nervous tears filled his eyes. "Mike, I'm sorry, okay? I just wanted you to come to the gig with me, you know, to try and loosen you up some, but I knew you wouldn't come if you knew she was here. But don't worry, we won't get caught, OK? Trust me."

Trust me. Michael stared at Calum for a moment. He didn't trust him, not one little bit. After all, Calum had done this same kind of shit to Michael in the past. He told Michael a few months ago that he wouldn't ever lie to him again, but over these few months, Calum had lied to him on more than one occasion- multiple occasions, actually. And all of these lies related to him doing or getting what he wanted, and not caring about the effects that his actions would have on Michael. Calum loved Michael, and the he knew that, his older brother just didn't show it well. At least, not lately he hadn't.

Michael had many insecurities, and many fears, which was obvious. Your intelligence would have to be the equivalent of an old and dirty gym socks' if you didn't see that. But one of Michael's biggest insecurities was what people thought about him, and one of his biggest fears getting in trouble. And, the worse part to these was that they were connected; they balanced each other out. If you got suspended from school or grounded a lot, people would think you were a bad kid. So every time Calum accidentally got Michael in trouble, it would basically make him panicky and self-loathing as hell. But Michael didn't tell Calum this. Telling him how he felt would just give him another person to disappoint. Michael had already disappointed far too many people in his lifetime. He didn't want to disappoint another.

Which is why he wished Leslie hadn't spoken to him in the bathroom earlier.

Yes, he had been to gigs with Calum before. But only four of them (well, technically three and a half, since he had a panic attack at one of them when some drunken man threw up on the bar next to him), and not one of them was The Rejected Perfection. They were actually a fairly new band, and because of this, Michael knew that they would have a lot of shows over the next few months. And, he also knew that Calum would drag him to those as well. No, Calum never did and never would make Michael do anything he didn't want to do- Michael just did whatever to make others happy. He went to all of these gigs and parties and whatever else with his brother, because they made him happy. Plus, Calum thought that he was helping Michael. He thought that taking him to all of these places would help his little brother break out of the walls he had built up, even if just cracking them. But Calum was wrong. If anything, going to these places only caused Michael to build his walls up more. After all, the walls were built up to keep him safe.